a Christmas letter

I started this blog several weeks ago and never finished it. It might be a little late but I am going to finish it now.

So you know how people put a letter in their Christmas cards? Well...we don't do that. Maybe people we send cards to don't want to read about our year...also, maybe they read this blog and already know everything. Andrew read a Christmas letter yesterday and thought maybe we should write a letter to make the cards a little more personal. I was going to do it but sealed all the cards before I remembered I was going to write a letter. So I am just going to blog a letter and hopefully the folks that want to read it will and those who don't won't!!!

What a year it has been!!! Here are two pictures of the boys with Santa last year....



And here they are this year...




Aaron wanted to snuggle with Santas beard last year and this year he wanted nothing to do with him!!!

We have been through a lot this year and we have so very much to be thankful for. The boys are both on the growth chart and do not appear to have any delays. They reached all of their milestones so far within the normal range for their real age...not adjusted. They are amazing and it seems impossible but I love them more everyday. This year we were able to move out of my sister Annie's house and into our own.

Andrew still works for Verizon Wireless in East Peoria as a Sales Rep. It isn't the best situation but the job pays the bills so we are thankful. Hopefully one day he will have a job that allows him to be home to have dinner with us..his family. He has had a very good year as far as his job goes. He is good at sales but does put a lot of high goals on himself. He is always in a silent competition with another sales rep and really doesn't like when the other rep comes out ahead of him at the end of the month.

I am still a full time stay at home mom. It is by far the most demanding job I have ever had but it's also my favorite job!!! Some days are harder than others but the good outweighs the bad. I really struggled during the first half of the year with getting the boys on a schedule and getting them to sleep for more than 30 minutes at a time but all that hard work has paid off. They are great sleepers, fabulous eaters, and the sweetest little boys you will ever meet =) I have thought about finding a job I can do at home to help with the bills but have been unsuccessful in finding anything that is not a scam. I would like to go back to school for speech pathology...but honestly..I don't know how well I would do with the demands of a new career path and raising my boys. We will just have to keep praying about it and asking for God to give Andrew and I the wisdom to know what to do.

In the past year the boys have learned to suck, swallow, and breathe at the same time. They have learned to sleep on their own. They have learned to roll from their backs to fronts and fronts to back. They have learned to sit without support, stand, cruise around furniture, sit up from laying down. They know how eat solid food and pick finger foods up to feed themselves. They have gone from 5 lbs to almost 20!!! Preemie clothes to 12 months!!! They are trying to talk. Elliott can walk and Aaron is not far behind!!! They are learning how to be nice to one another and not push each other down and take things from each other. Aaron loves to put toys in things...or his paci. He hides his paci in the laundry or in other toys. Elliott loves to be chased and held upside down. They both love to make people laugh.

So that way my attempt at a Christmas letter. I think it was kind of dumb. Oh well.

This is New Years Eve. I am at home alone with the boys. They are sleeping and I am feeling a bit lonely. Andrew went to Henry to play poker. My mom, Julie, Annie, and the kids are at Annie's house playing games and eating unhealthy stuff. I am not feeling very well but much better then yesterday and the day before. The boys are getting runny noses and coughing again. I am thinking about taking them to the doctor tomorrow to see if they have ear infections again or if either of them are wheezing. Runny noses and coughs have always turned into wheezing...I did read that boys grow out of the wheezing asthma stuff more often than girls...YAY!!!

I am trying to think about what has happened since the boys birthday. We spent Christmas Eve and Christmas Day in Jamestown with Grandma and Grandpa Bock. Katie, Eric, and Cassidy were also there. It was pretty hetic opening presents. The boys wanted to play with Cassidy's princess cups and Cassidy wanted to play with the boys dump truck. I actually think that they didn't get to play with their dump truck until we got home!!! They didn't want to open presents...they just wanted to be all over the house. I think that they really enjoyed time with their grandma and grandpa...also with Katie and Eric....I am not sure what they thought about Cassidy. They were just like they are with Jackson. Cassidy and Jackson are both sweet and will hug the boys and stuff but the boys just kind of want to do their own thing. I think they will be different in a few months. It seems like they are getting more interested in playing with eachother instead of next to each other. I know that all comes with time and time is something I don't want to rush. I wish that the boys could see Cassidy more but I guess they can't!!! I think that their favorite gift was the toy box from Santa Bock. Elliott got inside of the toy box with his lovie. He was very graceful getting in and getting out. Aaron likes it better on the outside. They also really LOVE the big dump truck. I was bringing stuff in from the car and Andrew was watching the boys. I came into the living room to find Elliott sitting in the dump truck and Aaron pushing him!!! I wasn't fast enough to get pictures but I did get a little video footage. We have put Elliott in the dump truck a couple more times and he loves it!!! Aaron also loves to push him...they are too funny. Aaron does not like being in the dump truck!!!

Its been fun to watch them learn how to play with their toys that they have had for a long time. Aaron loves to play with the roll-a-round dinosaur. I was so suprised the first time I saw him put the ball where it was supposed to go. He puts paci's in the dino often too. Elliott has been getting very frustrated when he can't do things by himself. It's sad to watch but its all a part of growing up. Aaron doesn't get frustrated as much...he takes his time to figure something out and if he gets tired of trying he just goes to something else. They were given LOTS of books for Christmas too and its been fun reading them all the new stories.

I feel that this blog is boring and long so I guess I will stop. I will try to blog more often and about more interesting things in the new year. YAY 2009!!!

just a quick one

I just wanted to write a quick little blog. The boys are doing much much better...they don't even really have runny noses anymore =)

Also I learned from my mom who learned from our doctor when we were little that not wearing shoes is the best for little feet. The doctor told her that shoes screw up our feet. When kids are learning to walk its best for them to be barefoot because they roll their feet right and use their toes and strengthen their arches. So, no shoes for my boys!!! I am looking into getting cheap "robeez" but not actually robeez...some family in China makes soft sole crib shoes like robeez and sells them on ebay. I have seen many not be bid on at all and the bidding starts at .97 with $8 shipping...we can handle that. That's it...I must finish watching the Dark Knight...I guess it's important.

Jen

nebulizer and croup

I have no excuse for not blogging...I have just been lazy.

The boys had their last "first" on Thanksgiving for a while. How sad...I guess Aaron still needs to get his first tooth and take his first step... They had so much fun playing with their cousin Ashley's toys on Thanksgiving. She had tons of play food and a kitchen...she's in college now and doesn't play with that stuff anymore (as far as I know!!!). We will have to get them something like that soon...or when they have outgrown some of their baby stuff they are still playing with. We also put Aaron in a doll baby buggy of Ashley's and had Jenna push him. Its a pretty cute picture...I will post them soon.

The day after Thanksgiving Elliott started to get a cough and runny nose. Aaron started with the same stuff Sunday afternoon. They had their well baby check on Monday. Aaron started croup coughing on the way to the doctor office. He felt pretty bad by the time we got there and it's only a 15 minute drive!!! Elliott was feeling pretty bad too but I think Aaron was scared because it hurt to cough and he didn't know what was going on. They weighed and measured them but I, again, don't know how accurate the measurements are since they were super upset and the nurses were hurrying. Two different nurses measured them too. Aaron weighed in at 20.7 pounds and Elliott 19.11. Aaron was 28 1/4 inches and Elliott 28 inches. Here is the thing...when they stand up together, which they do all the time, Elliott is taller than Aaron. Anyway, Aaron was given a steroid shot and breathed epinephrine through the nebulizer at the office to help with his croup. He coughed a little when we got in the car but not again after that!!! Praise God!!! Elliott was wheezing and had an ear infection. He was given antibiotics and has to use the nebulizer at home with albuterol. They had a recheck on Thursday. Aaron is down to just having a cold...they don't do anything for that and Elliott was "wheezing all over" so he is up from 3 nebs a day to 4. He's doing pretty well with them so I won't complain. I just hope he grows out of it. Both seem to be feeling better every day.

Aaron is getting braver and braver. I have thought he was going to take a step several times but he always just goes to his knees to crawl. Elliott is walking more than crawling now. He is good at turning and walking around things too. Now we just need to find shoes with arches that fit them!!! I think they might have unusually small feet or I am just not shopping at the right stores. I used the shoe chart on the Old Navy, Gap, and Children's Place websites and their feet didn't even get to the smallest shoe size. I think shoes are important so if you have any suggestions let me know.

So..the boys are doing more and more grown up things. Elliott tried to put his sock back on and Aaron tried to put his santa hat back on. Both are doing well at drinking milk from sippies rather than bottles...even Aaron!!! Aaron held his bottle yesterday too!!! I think Aaron might be getting a tooth but I have been thinking that off and on for several months. Elliott's 5 tooth should be popping through any day. Aaron has decided that he is a picky eater again. Today he refused mashed potatoes, turkey, and fruit and yogurt. He would only eat deli turkey...smoked turkey at that...that has a strong flavor...he is a weird kid. Elliott loves yogurt!!! I wish Aaron did. I will keep trying with him. Hopefully he will remember that he likes everything soon. I don't know if either of them will eat green beans anymore. Neither of them can get enough Gerber Juice Treats. I am pretty sure Elliott threw his first real fit yesterday. He was drinking from the red sippy and Aaron from the blue. I don't like them to switch because then I don't know if Elliott has drank everything or if Aaron has had some too. Anyway, Elliott decided he wanted the blue one and I gave him the red one. I put the blue one out of his reach. He layed on the floor and rolled while kicking and crying and threw the red sippy. Later he and Aaron both wanted a bottle that was in the tub. Aaron took it from Elliott and Elliott tried to rip Aaron's face off!!! I am kind of freaking out because I don't know how to deal with it. I thought they would not fight...seriously I did!!! I thought they would be sweet forever!!! Don't feel bad for Aaron though!!! Elliott has put up with a lot this past year from Aaron =)

Oh my...I must pay attention to my boys now. Aaron is trying to eat a wagon wheel in one bite...

Jen

Happy Birthday!!!

Well....it happened...my babies are 1!!! I can't believe how fast the year went. I know I should be happy and proud of them and I am but I also can't stop thinking about what it was like a year ago. I can't remember what happened a year ago yesterday. I can't remember how a year ago today started or really ended. I can only remember a few things. I remember that it snowed for the first time that year. I remember they told me that the babies would be taken that night. They had scheduled the c-section for 7 or something but moved it up to 5:30 or 6. I remember Andrew telling everyone to leave my room and how thankful I was that he did that. As much as I wanted everyone there...I really needed just him. I told him that I thought it was okay that they were born that day because it was the first snow and it was a Sunday. He played a Jimmy Eat World song for me called Sunday...I think that is the name of it...its an extra special song. I remember crying and being really really scared but trying to be strong and brave. I can remember being taken to the operating room and laying on a bed that felt about 5 inches wide. It also felt like there was a hill right under my back. I was super hot...the magnesium made me hot, being pregnant made me hot, and they had the room hot so the babies wouldn't be super cold when they were taken out. It seemed like I was laying there for hours. I can remember that the epidural hurt pretty bad and the nurses talking about how Dr. Boyd was a little annoyed that my epidural was so late. I can remember feeling embarrassed about all my parts being out in the open for about 20 people to see. I didn't know how worried Julie was. Part of me doesn't want to have any more children just to keep Julie from having to go through that again!!! I can remember that it felt really strange when Dr. Boyd was taking the babies out. I know they cried but I can't remember hearing them. I know Andrew didn't know what to do...he wanted to be with me but he wanted to see his sons. I told him to take a million pictures and to stay with them. The put them in the same bassinet and stopped about 9 feet away...that was my first and only glimpse of children for 2 days. The next thing I can remember is asking if I could go to sleep. They said yes and then asked me a question I don't think I answered...then they told me they were giving me narcotics. Then I remember waking up and seeing my very best friend Carrie (Tree). I couldn't believe she was there. I cried when I saw her and asked if she saw them. I think she had but I don't remember anything..just that she was there and I cried because it meant so much. She drove all the way from Chicago and had to go back that night. You don't get many friends like her...I only have one...I love her!!! I can't even imagine what the boys were going through. They weren't ready to come out...they were small and scary looking. Andrew showed me pictures everyday on the camera. I had him take more pictures every time he went to see them and made him go see them many times a day. He didn't like taking all the pictures but that was all I had. I wasn't allowed to see them until my catheter was out and that couldn't be taken out until I was off the mag and I couldn't be taken off of that until my blood pressure went down. I had these crazy balloon things on my legs to keep me from getting blood clots. They were fun for about 20 minutes...then I hated them. I think that I didn't like when anyone other then Andrew told me how they were doing. I didn't want to hear it from people that didn't know what it was like to be going through it...that is dumb though, but how I felt. Finally on Tuesday they took the cath out. I was still on mag but very little I guess. I was moved from the labor and delivery room to the mother baby wing..my room was across from the nursery...that was kind of mean. The nurse couldn't believe I didn't see my boys yet and took me as soon as I was settled in. Andrew was waiting for us. We saw Aaron first. It was really hard not to sob. Andrew told me it hurt him to touch him and not to rub him. I couldn't believe someone was telling me how to touch MY baby. It was terrible. He had so many cords all around him. His skin looked like it hurt...I just told him that I loved him and that I was so very sorry. Andrew tried to prepare me to see Elliott. He still had CPAP. Again...I cried...told him I loved him and that I was so sorry. His nurse was Christal. That was when she told me to feel what I was feeling. Some people had told me that I should be grateful and happy about how they were doing. It was nice for her to tell me I didn't have to feel happy because I was far from happy. I was scared out of my mind and so terribly guilty. I went to see them a few more times that day and it got easier each time. I think I was finally released on Thursday. That was probably the worst day of my life. I wanted out of the hospital really bad but I didn't know how hard it would be to leave them. Right before I went home a new mom was put in my room. She had just given birth to a healthy baby girl. I just sat on my bed praying that Andrew would hurry up and get there. I didn't know how terrible I would feel to hear the nurses bring in her new daughter....to hear them helping her put the baby to her breast to be fed for the first time...I wanted to die. I was able to hold it together. I clung to the pictures I had of Elliott and Aaron. Andrew finally got there and I got out of the room as fast as I could. I was wheeled down to the parking deck where I waited for Andrew to bring the car around. I couldn't believe how cruel life could be. While I was waiting...with my belly still looking pregnant but empty....there were at least 5 other new moms there, holding their babies, waiting for their babies daddies. They were everywhere...seeming to mock me. It was so hard. Next we went to Target for my pain meds. As soon as we were in the door what do we see? Infant twin boys with their parents. I wanted to just go home but I was in pain so we picked up the meds...gave the pharmacist an update on the boys and went to Avanti's. That night when I was trying to sleep I kept rubbing my belly like I did when I was pregnant...they weren't in there...they weren't in the room with us or the room next to us. I couldn't stop crying. Andrew called the NICU to make sure they were okay. It was so terrible. The emotional pain of that day is something I will never forget. I am very happy about how everything turned out. Elliott and Aaron are AWESOME!!! I think Andrew and I are stronger individuals and have a stronger marriage because of that month they were in the NICU and the past year we have had. Sorry that was so long...Now I can't really see the screen...I am crying kind of a lot!!!

So..now to happy stuff. We celebrated the boys birthday with family and friends on Saturday. I have added some pictures. Today we took the boys to the NICU. We saw Dr. Hocker (he was their neonatologist) and tons of their nurses. It was really fun. Elliott showed off and Aaron was shy and cuddly. We had them dressed in birthday clothes from head to toe. Everyone loved their birthday shoes...thanks Katie!!! We went to Chili's for dinner. The boys had broccoli and grilled cheese. We told our waiter it was their birthday but they didn't get a birthday song or free dessert...what gives??? Next we went to Toys R Us and bought tons of stuff they don't need. Maybe they do...don't kids need mega blocks and busy beads and maracas and drums??? Also books and Christmas bibs? I think they do =) They have really enjoyed playing with/chewing on all their new stuff. Aaron has been standing more on his own...I might have already said that. They seem to be sleeping better and better all the time...not waking up in the night to fuss for a few minutes. They even sleep past 7 sometimes!!! Other times they are awake closer to 6am...oh well...at least they wake up every morning right?!?!? Well...I had better get to bed. Enjoy the pictures!!! The last one is a video. Make sure your sound is on...Andrew and I are talking about something dumb but the boys talk and it's cute. Hopefully we can capture Elliott walking sometime!!! That kid is camera shy or something!!!

xoxo
Jen


Decorations...lots of yellow!!! Just remember...not our choice of wall color. It came with the house. Jackson is in this pic...he is so cute!!!


The boys in their birthday hats...they were pretty big but still cute!!!


The duck cake =)


The cupcakes with all the little birthday rubber duckies!!!


Grandma Bock and Elliott


Our family before opening presents


Aaron IN the box with the presents!!!


blowing out the candles...sorry I am in the way...Aaron is behind there!!!


Aaron LOVING frosting and cake


Elliott loving frosting and cake.


Elliott very sad because his cake is gone!!!


Aaron doing "so big"


Aaron with NICU nurse Christal. She was one of my favorite of Elliott's nurses. She is the one who told me it was okay to feel anything I was feeling and I didn't have to feel lucky because my babies were doing so much better than lots of the other babies in there.


Elliott walking from NICU nurse Cari to me...Cari was one of Aaron's nurses. She was there when Aaron came home.


Aaron and his daddy at Chili's for their birthday dinner...they had broccoli and grilled cheese.


Elliott and I at Chili's. We told them it was their birthday and they didn't sing or give them free dessert!!!

crabby crabby babies

I had two very crabby babies today. Elliott slept for about 40 minutes this morning after waking up around 6:15. Aaron slept until about 10:30...that was pretty good, but they were both so tired and crabby. It was fun to see them play with their new toys. Their second nap was from between 12:30 and 1:00 until 3. I thought they would be feeling great after that but they were still crabby. They also had bright green poo!!! What a surprise that was when I opened Aaron's diaper!!! I didn't know blue frosting did that =) Tree and Sean came over this morning before heading back to Chicagoland. Tree really liked playing with the heavy haulers. I have to admit...they are pretty fun. So is the car wash fridge magnet!!! "Train in the bubble wash Train in the bubble wash, good bye dirt, hello soap squirt. Train in the bubble wash"...what a fun song!!!

I am still suprised at how many friends and family celebrated with us yesterday. All of my aunts (minus Florida family =( ) were here!!! Grandpa Shurts came...it was strange how no husbands came...The only guys were Andrew, Grandpa, Randy, and Sean. Maybe birthday parties are girl things...

Jen

St. Francis

One year ago today I woke up and felt fine. Andrew left the hospital to go to work. I didn't feel like I wanted to be alone. I didn't ask if I could take a shower like I usually did while staying in the hospital. This is only important because I didn't get a shower from Thanksgiving until the Tuesday (I think) after the boys were born....GROSS!!! Anyway, Jamee was going to stop by and did...I think. That might have been a different day but I am pretty sure it was this day. I called my mom when I was alone again and told her that I wanted her to come stay with me. I didn't know why I was so needy. She said she would be there soon...she was going to leave then so it took her an hour I guess. The rest is kind of a blur. I think they told me the 24 hour urine showed that my condition was getting worse. I used to remember the numbers but I don't anymore. They told me I was being transferred to St. Francis "now". I called Andrew in a panic. I told him what was going on and he came to the hospital. I million people were in and out of my room. I was given a bolus of magnesium sulfide. It made me super super hot and a little uneasy on my feet. After the bolus I was just getting it through my IV. Some ambulance people came and put me on a different bed and I was wheeled around the hospital...I remember being so very hot and disoriented. Nurse Pam came in the ambulance with me and Andrew and my mom followed. Mom got there just in time. This day was also the day that Pam came in to do the usual "do you see spots, does your stomach hurt, are you dizzy" thing...she took my blood like most mornings too. She somehow got blood all over my body pillow. She took the cover and washed it at the hospital. It wasn't dry when I had to leave but was mostly dry. I don't know why I remember that so well. Anyway, I was wheeled around the hospital. It was a cold day and I remember how awesome it felt when a little cold air got on me when they were putting me in the ambulance. I also remember that I didn't know why they had put blankets on me when I was so hot and also I felt super bad for the people that had to lift my 200+ pound body into the ambulance. Yes..that is right...over 200 pounds and my babies didn't even weigh 6!!! I was driven across the street to St. Francis. Once of the ambulance people was asking me all these questions that I couldn't answer but I think they were easy like what is your insurance or something. Pam stuck up for me and told the lady to back off a bit. She liked me I think...Pam came into St. Francis with me and stayed in the room for a few minutes I think. I think she came back later that day to bring me a ring I had left in my room. I will never forget Pam. All the rest of this day is all mixed in with the rest of the days. I know that I wasn't allowed to eat because nobody knew if I would be taken in for a C-section that day or not. I don't know what time I was able to eat but it was after supper time. I ordered baked chicken and almost died when it came and it was on the bone!!! I ate it anyway because I was so hungry and found out the chicken on the bone is super good!!! I don't know who was there and what happened. I know that at some point Jamee brought over a bunch of baby stuff and a humidifier. I wonder who paid for that humidfier...hmmm...I think I had another 24 hour urine test...no..thats not it at all...They brought my pee over from Methodist...the 24 hour urine was not finished. I think that it was my blood that forced the transfer to St. Francis. I was sad to leave Methodist. I loved all the nurses and the food people. It was comfortable and friendly and one of the residents reminded me of Tree. I was put into a labor and delivery room at St. Francis...they didn't even try to anti-partem me. I think I must have been much sicker than I felt. After the magenisum I felt terrible...it was like I was in pudding. I was allowed to go to the bathroom by my self at this point but sometime I couldn't....or maybe I always could...things will be pretty foggy from here on in my memory I think. Until tomorrow.....
Jen

first birthday party

Today was the boys first birthday party. I don't know if it was fun or not. It seemed like a lot of sitting and crying. The boys didn't take a good nap today so they were very tired and cranky. They did LOVE cake and frosting!!!

I think probably the best thing about today was all the people that celebrated with us. Leisa, Randy, and Heather S. came all the way from Elkhart!!! Tree and Sean from Chicago, Grandma Bock from Indy, Ann and Sheila from Iowa!!! How wonderful!!! All my sisters were here and even two "adopted" sisters Heather R. and Jamee. I was so happy to see Aunt Mary too!!! We said that gifts were not needed but they were brought anyway!!! The boys have lots of jammies and toys and wintery clothes!!! They weren't really interested in opening things but Aaron really liked getting into one box and eating paper and Elliott chewed on the ends of toddler silverware for a while. They were really nice to everyone...I think. Lots of people held them that they don't see very often. Everyone was so helpful too!!! Leisa and Heather S. put up the decorations for us...I feel like it was kind of rude for me to have them do that after they drove so far to get here but it looks awesome!!! I am not taking it down =) Julie cooked stuff and made things look pretty. Grandma Bock wrapped candy bars. Grandma Schwiderski made yummy bacon little smokies. Carrie and Heather R. got the boys dinner ready. Jenna "watched" the boys in the bathtub so they wouldn't drowned (don't freak!!! I was with them the entire time and so was Andrew giving them their bath but she was really proud to tell everyone she "watched the babies so they wouldn't drowned"). Julie also found some funny first birthday sailor hats and bought them each a dog that everyone signed. I feel like it was a success. I came very close to crying when we started singing happy birthday...I don't know what came over me!!! I guess I am just so proud of them and amazed by them. I have said it before...I KNOW that other babies are born like they were....even smaller and less healthy. I KNOW that almost 32 weekers aren't THAT early, but I had never seen a baby that small and that scary looking. I had no experience with the NICU. Not coming home with my babies sucked super bad. Seeing them and knowing that it would hurt them to touch them sucked. The guilt I felt for not being able to keep them in longer was unbarable at times, and look at them now!!! They are bigger than Jackson was at one and Cassidy was at one...not that there is anything wrong with Cassidy and Jackson...it's just amazing..they went from less than 3 pounds to 20 pounds in a year!!! They said that they would be behind and not to worry if they didn't meet their developmental milestones on time...ELLIOTT IS WALKING!!! He isn't one yet!!! Aaron is so smart...I can't wait to see what he will come up with. I don't think he will walk...he will just start running one day!!! Even if they weren't the smallest and most unhealthy babies in the NICU, the are two miracles, they are two blessings, the are amazing!!!

thanksgiving

One year ago today was Thanksgiving. My mom, dad, and sisters brought Thanksgiving to me in the hospital. We were thankful the babies didn't come that day. I was given the steroid shots to help the boys lungs mature...this was a wake-up call to me...they WERE coming soon...very very scary. What I remember most, other than the awesome food and loving family, is that I was scared. Andrew was planning on sleeping at Annie's house (where we were living...thanks Annie) because he wanted to be well rested for "black Friday". We he left the hospital I couldn't stop myself from crying. I didn't know what was wrong. I think had just finished a 24 hour urine thing...that was super fun. I had to pee in a thing on the toilet and then dump it in a jug and put it on ice...awesome!!! I didn't have any results from the 24 hour urine. I didn't know why I was so upset but I think it was because I knew I needed Andrew. I was trying to go to sleep when he came back in my room...I couldn't believe it. He didn't know how upset I was...it was God. He couldn't get in Annie's house and she was in Florida. I am actually starting to cry now...I can remember the relief I felt when he just walked right in...He got in my tiny hospital bed with my big belly and held me until I was calm. I remember not wanting him to leave in the morning but I knew he couldn't call in on "black Friday"...I guess I tell that story tomorrow. I couldn't believe he was back!!!

twins rock

Not much new going on with the boys since yesterday. Aaron has bruises all over his head...I honestly don't know where they are coming from. He is scratched too. I kind of think something is wrong with him. He is crying a lot....I don't know...its probably me just being a little crazy. He also has a slice out of his pinky. I have no idea how he got that either!!! I also don't know how it didn't bleed!!! I wish I could put a bandaid on it. He will eat the bandaid.

Elliott is getting better and better at walking!!! Aaron is too...just not without holding on the the hippo of a box or whatever else he can find to scoot across the floor. I don't think they learned anything new today...oh...they LOVE the Rock Band Safe Auto commercial. Its super fun when it comes on. They both stop what they are doing and look and then Aaron starts clapping. LOVE IT!!! I had better go. I need to get cleaning to be ready for the big birthday party tomorrow!!!

Jen

one year ago today...again

I am not for sure what happened a year ago today...it was the day before Thanksgiving and I still thought I would come home. The nurses would tell me I was going to get to go home and the Drs said I wasn't. I guess I chose to believe the nurses. I was still feeling fine. At one point a super nice nurse brought me a different mattress. That was one of the best things ever!!! Andrew had brought more stuff...my belly wedge and big boppy pillow...those things helped keep me comfortable too. The food at Methodist was so so so yummy too. I had this list of super good stuff that I could order from all day long. I was always awake before I could order and had to wait in the morning. The delivery lady was so nice too. One day I was late ordering breakfast and they called me to make sure I was OK!!! I LOVED everyone at Methodist. I was close to the C-section room and got to hear babies screaming down the hallway after being born. There was another mom pregnant with twins in the room next to mine. I didn't get to meet her. She was having boys too. Once was named Owen...I don't remember the name of the other one. She had them at Methodist while I was still there. They were big enough to stay at Methodist and did not have to be moved to the more intensive NICU at St. Francsis. One year ago today I was almost 31 weeks pregnant. I kept remembering the perinatologist telling me that it was important to make it to 32 weeks because there is less chance of a brain bleed....that was so scary to me!!! Thats all for today I guess!!!

Jen

I am in trouble

They can open doors...oh no...
Elliott is walking further every day...he doesn't seem to know he can do something awesome. I clap and yell YAY and whatnot and he just smiles...

Aaron is standing on his own a lot more...he knows he is doing something great...when he walks with the hippo he looks back make sure I am watching him and loves all the praise he gets!!!

one year ago

These days I am feeling pretty nostalgic. One year ago yesterday is when I was admitted into the hospital. This blog is going to be about that day so if you don't want to read something super boring then don't read on!!! I just want to remember and have it written down...not sure if I have written it down before.

November 18th 2007 Andrew's mom and Dave came to Peoria so they could go to my appointment with the perinatologist on the 19th and get a preview of the twins on a sonogram. That night we ate at Flat Top and went to Gordmans. I didn't get much sleep that night. My feet and ankles were swollen and I was up peeing all night. I woke up super early...like 4 am..because I was so nervous about the sono. I was always nervous before appointment especially sonogram appointments. I had a sinking feeling something was wrong...I always did...nothing ever was. Andrew got up and got ready. Annie was going to make lasagna so I got some frozen hamburger out of the freezer for her. We were running late...as usual. We had to go the the hotel the Bocks were at and have them follow us to the hospital. I think we weren't actually running late but I was so nervous I just wanted to hurry. We got to the hotel and Patti and Dave were having breakfast. Andrew sat down to eat and I remember feeling crazy...wanting to leave. Then we were running late. We got in our car and Patti and Dave got in theirs. They were behind us but Andrew isn't a good person to follow. We lost them. At this point I wanted to cry and throw up..I am telling you I was so so so so nervous to see the babies...I didn't want anything to be wrong..especially when the boys grandparents were there. I didn't know how Andrew and I would handle fiding out something was wrong but I thought we should figure it out before telling others...anyway. I think that there were some cell phone calls. Andrew ended up going back to the parking deck and waiting for his mom and Dave. I was called back to the room. My nurse also lead our lamaze class..we had been to two classes. Our third was that night...there were six total...She took my blood pressure and it was high. She didn't tell me what it was but she told me it was high and she needed a urine sample. While I was peeing in a cup Andrew and his mom and Dave came in. I had told the nurse that it wasn't a suprise my blood pressure was high...I was crazy nervous and on top of the my in-laws were there and we had lost them on the way to the hospital. The dr. came in and started the sono. I don't remember much from it...just that both boys were head down and looked fine. Elliott was so far down the Dr. couldn't look at his head. He said that Aaron weighed 3 pounds and Elliott weighed 3 1/2 pounds. After the sono was over I guess my pee looked bad so they walked me to the anti-pardem section. They hooked my belly up to stuff and I had to sit there forever. It was weird. Patti and Dave needed to leave, Andrew needed to go to work and I was sitting there in a hospital gown feeling fine. They said I would be admitted and would probably only be there over night. I was put in a room finally...I wasn't having contractions. They took my blood pressure all the time. The nurses were great. That was when I met Pam Stevenson. She was awesome!!! They gave me an IV...but later took it out. I stayed there that night and Andrew stayed with me. He brought a bunch of fun stuff like Elf and my John Ralston CD. The babies really liked John Ralston. Patti sent me a candy gram...it was yummy and so so cute!!! I assured Patti and Dave that I woudn't be having the babies and they didn't need to even think about it while they were visiting Dave's daughter in Seattle. I laid on my left side as much as I could and slept as much as I could. That was a year ago yesterday. A year ago today I was thinking I would go home. It was a Tuesday. The nurses told me I would go home and then a Dr. would come in and tell me I wouldn't go home. Dr. Boyd came in...it was the first time I met him. He is the Dr. that works with my midwife Dana. He told me that he would be out of town for Thanksgiving and he didn't expect the babies to stay in through the weekend. He talked to me about being moved to OSF St. Francis. Then a nurse came in and said I would probably be home by Thanksgiving!!! It was so confusing. Andrew stayed with me again this night. He was the best.

not much new

I don't have much news...really I don't have any news. I just want to have 100 posts by the boys birthday...I have to do ten in a week!!!

Elliott is walking further and further. I think he can get about 2 feet now. I am so very proud of him. Aaron is letting go more now and seems more interested in walking with a box or with the hippo. Actually, Elliott started walking with the hippo and Aaron jumped in front of him and Elliott ran over Aaron's hand!!! It was so funny...except it really did hurt Aaron.

Andrew finally ordered a new camera...ours wouldn't turn on more than half the time. It came in the mail yesterday. Its awesome...it can detect smiles!!! The only problem is that we don't have a memory stick for it...we have lots of memory cards...and it will only hold 5 pictures...I hope the memory stick Andrew ordered comes before the party!!!

I don't have any more news...

Jen

teeth

I forgot...I found another tooth on the top in Elliott's mouth on November 6th and another one on the bottom tonight!!! No wonder he's been so slobbery and cranky!!!

I am sure Aaron will get a tooth soon!!!

oh my oh my

Sorry so long!!! I have been lazy. I just didn't want to mess with the camera and waiting forever to get pictures on here. I added a bunch, hope you think they are as cute as I do!!!

Well, some stuff has happened since I last blogged. Elliott started standing up by himself (I haven't seen it but Andrew and the health department lady did). He also took his first steps on Wednesday. I missed the first ones but have seen lots since. I have to say that I felt kind of mad at Elliott for waiting until I was making his lunch to show his dad that he can take steps but really it's pretty awesome Andrew got to see it. I get to see lots of stuff while he is hard at work.

The crazy health department lady came by on last week. It's so irritating when she comes here. I still don't really know why she comes here. She tells me stuff I already know like "don't let them play with knives". I guess the boys have been given 4 books from her and that is nice. She weighed them. Elliott weighed 19 pounds and Aaron was 20.2. I don't remember their heights but Elliott was taller than Aaron. She tested them at 9 months and said that they are behind and Aaron is more behind. I asked her what they should be doing at 12 months and she said "they aren't 12 months, they are 9 months". I asked again and she told me they would be walking at 12 months which is crazy because it's normal for babies to walk anywhere between 10 and 18 months!!! They couldn't roll a ball back and forth but we haven't done that with them. They couldn't wave bye bye but we also haven't done that with them. She gave them these tiny blocks...they were about an inch on all sides. She wanted them to bang them together, but Aaron put the whole block in his mouth. I asked her if they could use bigger blocks since they seemed to be a choking hazard and she said it was a standardized test...what the heck? Why in the world would you give a baby something to play with they could fit in their mouths!!! Anyway, later that day both boys picked up peek-a-blocks and banged them together...GRRRR. I wanted to call her and tell her that Elliott can walk but I didn't. She is dumb and I don't think they are behind. There is a range for everything. Some kids don't talk for a long time, some don't talk for a long time. They have been in the normal range for everything so far according to their real age not their adjusted age. They have been ahead if you look at their adjusted age. I am glad that is off my chest!!!

They boys and I loved having Andrew home for a week. They looked for him when he went back to work this week. It was sad. I wish he would use his vacation days but I understand that he has to be at work to make commission and we need that income.

I have been cooking like a crazy woman and the boys have enjoyed real people meals. They both are drinking from sippy cups (FINALLY) and Elliott is awesome at holding his bottle. They won't drink formula from sippy cups. Weird. Elliott has once but Aaron lets the milk run out of his mouth. I put the formula in a bottle and they both gulp it down. I will just keep on trying. They will both eat anything. They like lima beans (GROSS) and BBQ chicken, beef stroganof, peas and carrots...everything!!! Sometimes Elliott gets mad when I spoon feed him. He likes to pick it up himself but I am not ready to have him eat oatmeal with his hands!!!

I think thats it!!! Enjoy the pictures of my super cute twins!!!

Jen




if you haven't been invited, you are now =)



Elliott didn't like the swing much or he is just trying to be a gangster



Aaron thought it was fun



If you haven't seen him do this face you must come over!!!



Indianapolis Zoo aquarium



Andrew trying to pet a Dog Shark. He did actually pet one and so did I...it was gross.



Elliott trimming his toenails



Playing upstairs at Grandma Bock's.







They had lots of fun banging on the piano at Grandma Bock's!



Sitting in Grandma Bock's chair.







If you didn't figure it out...this is Elliott and Aaron with Grandma Bock.



Andrew's sexy legs



Elliott surfing on his highchair tray.



Aaron is stuck in the Hippo.



But he's happy and oh so very cute!!!

Happy November

I don't have any pictures to post so if that is all you come to this site for you are out of luck =) We are at Grandma Bocks house right now. We came here Sunday and are leaving tomorrow. The boys slept SUPER well last night and we are so very thankful. We decided to bring their sheets and a couple of other things we have in their beds at home to see if it would help them sleep at grandmas and I think it worked!!! I still didn't sleep very well but such is life I guess.

The boys first Halloween was pretty fun. They were pretty worn out and grumpy at the end of the day and they did not win the costume contest but I saw some old classmates and that was fun. We also didn't get a picture of the boys with Jackson!!! GRRRR!!! We will have to have a pretend Halloween to get pictures of Roo, Tigger, and Pooh together.

Today Grandma and Grandpa Bock took us to the Indianapolis Zoo. The boys didn't really know what was going on but it was still fun. Aaron was asleep when we got there and it took him a bit to wake up and be normal Aaron. They liked the big fish tanks. We went to the see the walruses and the big huge one swam right at Elliott and I...it actually scared me!!! Andrew didn't get it on video..I was sad about that. There were two other walruses in the water that were fighting. That was fun to watch. We went to the dolphin show too. Elliott watched kind of. He was more interested in chewing on Grandma Bocks hand which was covering the guard rail thing. Aaron was very quiet and content when the dolphins were swimming around and jumping but got super irritated and grumpy when the lady was talking about dolphins. Maybe we have a future dolphin trainer!!!

On Sunday we met Grandma Bock at the Beef House. Apparently it is famous and super good. I think that we were the only people that were not over 80 there. The boys drew lots and lots of attention. People asked if they could take them!!! They were wearing camo bibs...one guy looked at Aaron and asked if he was going to be a deer hunter...strange-o!!! The boys had their first restaurant food...green beans =) They loved them. Today we had lunch at Applebees. It was so awesome to be able to feed them at the table and be able to eat at the same time!!! They shared a grilled cheese sandwich and some fries. It was their first time to have fries too. They are amazing. I am so happy that they are eating table food and they will both eat about anything. Elliott will eat ANYTHING but Aaron is a little more picky. I think he likes things to be bland and Elliott doesn't care as long as it can get to his belly. I wonder if this is as boring as I think it is....

I will post pictures when we get home. I think we might have some good ones from the zoo.

Jen

11 months

I know its nuts to blog two days in a row but I'm doing it!!! Elliott and Aaron are 11 months old today so that means its time for a sappy "they've grown so much" blog. As I was rocking the boys before a nap today I began to think about how much room they take on my lap now. They were so very little...even when they were home...even in March!!! I could hold both of them so easy. I remember being so worried about them being held too much and wanting them to sleep in the bassinet and not have people hold them when they were asleep. If I could do it over again I would be holding a baby every second I could. I remember Grandma Bock saying things like "I would have to hold them all day long" and I would think...are you kidding me. I need some ME time. I was the crazy one. They only get bigger...they don't get smaller. Oh how I would love to cuddle my 2, 3, 4, 5, 10 pound babies again!!! I think if we only had one baby I would be telling Andrew it was time for another!!! When we have our identical twin girls I will hold them all the time...I will carry them in sings...I will never put them down!!!

Andrew just informed me that he gets the first week of November off for a vacation!!! He hasn't had time off since the first week of January. He is stressed out, burnt out...in need of some time off. I know we are going to be expected to be in Henry and Indy alot but I think we need this time to relax and for Andrew to regroup. Please forgive us if you don't see us at all. The boys will be so happy to see their dad so much!!! They think he is awesome. I feel like crap when he is around. They hold their arms out to him and choose him over me = ( He doesn't prepare their food and clean their poop and wash their clothes and give them millions of hugs and kisses everyday...most of the time he just lays on the floor and hopes they don't hurt him!!! Really, he's a great dad. I give him a hard time in the morning because he is such a butt. He wants to see them but doesn't try real hard to wake up and make the best of being up at 7 when he doesn't work until 11:30. Anyway....WOOT WOOT...Andrew gets a vacation!!!

I forgot to mention that we took a day trip on Tuesday to Bolingbrook to meet with our friends Ashlee and Dustin from Elkhart. I was planning on leaving no later than 3 so we could be home to do the regular dinner and bedtime routine. That didn't happen. I fed the babies jarred baby food in the car for dinner and Andrew stopped so we could give them bottles and burp them. It was kind of nuts. They had been in carseats or highchairs or the stroller all day so they didn't want to go to sleep when we got home around 7. They didn't go to sleep until after 9. Andrew thought they would sleep until 9 the next morning...he was so wrong...they were up at 6:30 as usual. It was really good to see Ashlee and Dustin. Ashlee is pregnant. She is due just a couple weeks before our babies were due. I wish this year was last year so we were pregnant at the same time. That was what we wanted...who doesn't want to be pregnant at the same time as someone they are super close to??? Anyway...I don't want to do that again until the boys are older and not on such a tight napping and eating schedules. Enjoy the pictures. Sorry no videos today. I tried to download 2 from the delivery room but after 20 minutes one was still not on so I gave up. Maybe on the blog I write on their birthday. I did get good video of them today but it was on our video camera and I don't know how to use it with the computer yet. I haven't tried. I bet it's super easy. I hope we don't run out of room on the video camera...we don't have a computer that can burn our home videos to cd...we are so poor = ( But what we don't have in money we have in love (PUKE!!!)

Jen




Elliott 11 months old


It is VERY hard to get a good picture of both of them.


Elliott just wanted to eat the pumpkin stem


Aaron is too interested in the bench arm and I guess Elliott wanted to get down


This is Elliott standing and not holding on to anything


His feet look huge!!! I assure you they are not. What an awesome smile!!!


just playing


Aaron kept making that face today and screaming "DA DA DA DA DA DA"


Here he is again...he makes the best faces

we finally got to go!!!

Well, we finally got to go to Tanner's. It was cold and yucky and we probably should have stayed home. I am sad that we didn't get pictures of the boys feeding the goats or playing on the playground or even sitting in a pumpkin patch but I guess we have next year. I took some pictures of them in their stroller holding two little pumpkins I picked off of a table...not out of a patch. Andrew stayed inside with the boys and I picked out two pumpkins for us. I really am disappointed..this is their first fall, first Halloween, and first Thanksgiving and I just wanted to be able to do stuff. I wanted everything perfect but I guess nobody really gets that right?

I am having a hard time getting good pictures and video of the boys because as soon as any kind of camera is out they come attack me. I hope this phase ends soon =)

I really don't have much to write about Elliott and Aaron. They are pretty much doing the same things. Elliott can stand without holding on for longer periods of time and he pushes up from a toy on the floor or from my legs if I am sitting on the floor. He is getting braver but I don't think he will be walking by next Friday. I haven't seen Aaron let go and stand yet but I think it will be soon. He might have even done it tonight because he managed to open two cabinet doors and pull out a pot. Elliott has been sort of opening cabinets for a while but started to really get them open and get stuff out today. Aaron watched and followed =) Also, when I went to see Jordan in the hospital and Carrie was watching the boys she reported that Aaron climbed on a box (I keep lots of boxes around because they are their favorite toys) in order to reach stuff behind the super gate.

My sisters Julie and Annie and our friend Jamee took Julie's 4 children to Disney World last week. Each of Julie's younger kids had a fever for a day and a cough and it went away. Jordan (the oldest, he's 13) got a fever on Monday of last week. It was thought that it would go away like the other kids. He didn't feel well enough to go with them to Disney a few days and stayed at the resort. Julie called to check on him all the time and he sounded better. He wanted to go with them and ended up going back because he wasn't feeling well. Anyway...I might have some of these facts wrong but I think I have the jest of it. I think Julie called the doctor and they told her to just give him meds to keep the fever down. They got home last Friday night. Joe (brother-in-law, or bother-in-law if you have read past posts) took Jordan to a prompt care place where they thought he was having a bad asthma attack. They did a breathing treatment but said that if it didn't get into his lungs he would need to go to the ER. Well, he ended up at the ER and was then admitted to the hospital. He had super bad pneumonia...one lung was pretty full. He was released Tuesday. I think he went to school Thursday but they told him not to come the next day because they wanted him to rest and get better. He can't finish football this season and is not able to play basketball this year. Julie reminded me ( I don't remember this at all) that Jordan had RSV when he was about 4 months old I think. She took him to the ER a billion times and they always sent her home. I think he was diagnosed after he was better. Anyway, they told her that he would have a greater chance of getting asthma and pneumonia. Jordan really scared all of us. He lost a ton of weight and was just SOOO sick. This RSV things has me even more scared for Elliott and Aaron. I have been saying that we will not be leaving the house after October 31st. I know that is crazy but I don't want them hooked up to machines again. Oh...I just got a text from Carrie. They are on their way to the ER with Jordan. So so so so scary. Okay...it's official. We are not going anywhere after the 31st until March. Now I need to go and worry about my Jordan.

Jen

These pictures are all out of order but I am not changing them. It has taken this computer 32 minutes to move the pictures from our cards and put them in Kodak. GRRRR







Elliott with his little pumpkin


Aaron with his little pumpkin...I think I added a better one of Aaron...





Elliott sporting two different babylegs.


Elliott watching Wonder Pets


This is a little better...he was cold and grumpy...even inside


They reached through the gate and grabbed Carrie's purse and continued to pull on it thinking it would come through...when that didn't work they just reached through and tried to get into her purse...








Look how fast Aaron is moving!!!




In the first video Elliott had opened the door. I put everything back and closed it and two seconds later Aaron's opened both and took out a pot =)