Sunday, May 15, 2011

Heaven

So, I haven't posted in forever and now I am not even going to write about the kids!!! Well, Maybe I will at the end = )

Today at Church the sermon was about Heaven. I just can't wrap my mind around it. Creating a picture in my mind of beautiful mansions and never feeling pain...only crying tears of joy...that stuff is easy but thinking about relationships in Heaven is just too much. The pastor said that there is no marriage in Heaven...that its better...that our of our relationships are better. That they way we relate is different...I just can't figure that out. He said that a guy had a question about Heaven...that is first wife died and he remarried so who would he be married to when they were all in Heaven...the answer was that its just totally different and better but I can't figure it out. When Andrew and I are both dead and are reunited in Heaven will we not know of our history...will we not know each other...that makes me so sad ...I don't want to lose what we have and this is just nuts because we are talking about HEAVEN!!! So I just put the kids down for their naps and am wondering will I know them in Heaven? Will I know how special my teeny preemies are? Will I look at Molly and remember what a surprise she was and how she enriched our lives so much? Will I even care? I want to care...I don't ever want to forget so how exactly are these relationships going to change...how will things be better? Its really hard for me to articulate what exactly is going on in my brain...its sort of like that tiny part of a class I took that was philosophical . I just think myself into circles and I think will eventually go nuts. I am crying...this is absurd. I am just heart broken just thinking about losing these relationships even though it is promised to be better...I just don't understand what could be better and I guess that is how God is. We can't understand what we don't know and I guess I won't know how its all going to work out until I get to Heaven...

Now onto the kids...They are so silly...Elliott and Aaron say such funny things and do such funny things! Elliott panicked in the car after church today because he said he left his babies at church...he then said he looked all over for them but couldn't find them and finally that they were in his tummy the whole time. Aaron often talks about his babies too. Molly doesn't say many words we understand but she does say "addy" and calls almost everything she loves "addy". She cannot be without her lovie but I am sure we will always remember that! Elliott is really excited to go to preschool but we don't know how we are going to afford for them to go. We can't send them to public school because that is scary and its 5 days a week! I can't send my 3 yr olds to school 5 days a week...that is nuts! I want them to be allowed to be kids. What is the big rush these days. Why do kids need to know how to read in Kindergarten? I really just want them to go to preschool so that I have a few hours a week without them! I also think they need to be around more people...they are a little socially weird. We really want to send them to Peoria Christian but its almost like sending them to college with how expensive it is. There is a Methodist preschool that is much cheaper but I feel like we are settling if we send them there. Ugh...
Maybe someday I will print this blog so I want to just add that Molly had tubes put in in January after having 5 or 6 ear infections in 8 months. The dr said he cleared a lot of gunk out of her ears...she seems so much happier but bath time is kind of a pain with her ear plugs. The boys LOVE to take them out of her ears with she is out of the tub and she is so cute just standing there and letting them!

Both boys are able to put pants and underpants on by themselves and can usually not put anything on backwards or inside out! They love riding bikes outside and Aaron goes soooooo fast! Aaron is still huggie and sweet while Elliott is super active perhaps a bit "spirited". All three give the very best hugs and kisses! Molly is really into reading books. She is also very fiery! She does not put up with the boys taking things from her and I think will soon be able to beat them up! Its really fun to watch the boys make up new games and really play together. It has to be awesome to live with your best friend! I feel bad for Molly lots of the time. She tries to play with them but they don't want her to. Its so sad. She wants to do everything they do and pretty much can...except when her height gets in the way...she is pretty short = ) Ok...what else...Elliott is very sensitive to smells and Aaron is just really sensitive. I really should be writing down every funny thing they say and do...I really should. Maybe I will start today?

We want to visit Great Grandpa Schimdt in Florida this fall. I was thinking we would go in October but Molly will be two then and I want her to fly free so we will have to go before her birthday. Grandpa Schmidt has not met Molly and hasn't seen the boys since their first Easter! I was hoping that Katie and Grandma Bock would also come at that time but since we haven't planned anything and Katie is going to have a baby at the end of July/beginning of August that all may not work out. Aunt Sharon wants to come with us! If we get to go I will want to find a way to visit the Joy, Dave, Brenda, Josh and baby Amelia too.

I guess I am done for now..hopefully not for another 6 months though! I know some day I am going to be sad that I can't remember everything and will really appreciate the silly things I wrote.

2 comments:

Melissa said...

heaven... don't lose heart my friend. it's awesome that you can't imagine better... that means life is awesome for you now! it will be better, and i don't imagine you will lose the memories of today... that make you happy. i imagine that those relationships in heaven will be exponentially greater. as for the guy (or people) that remarry... i agree on the no marriage in heaven... it's right there in the bible, how could i disagree. but that doesn't mean those relationships will be GONE... they'll just be exponentially greater! all of them! i'm so excited for heaven... now you got me going :) i guess it's a waiting game though, huh?

love ya and glad you're doing great. keep writing... you don't want to forget these times! blogspot is as good as any to record some memories :)

Jen said...

Melissa!!! I didn't know anyone was reading this blog!!! I want to move there and help with your garage hang out!