6/8 months

Elliott and Aaron are 8 months today...and 6 months this past Wednesday. I can now feel like I am doing to right thing when I feed them solids!!! Both boys took nice naps this morning...from 9-11:15 for Aaron and 11:30 for Elliott. Elliott would have slept longer too but I had to get out of bed...thats right....they slept so well because Aaron was sleeping with Andrew and I was sleeping with Elliott. At least that gave them one good nap today. The other two were not so good....the last one only being about 25 minutes for each. Aaron was asleep by 7:30pm and didn't wake up until 10:30 pm!!! YAY Aaron!!! I don't know when Elliott went to sleep but it's now almost 11:30 and he is still sleeping. Aaron just almost finished a bottle and will go back to sleep for another few minutes...hopefully.

I called Dr. Maini about Aaron puking so much. I was hoping to try a new med or have some testing done but she just told us to give him 1.25ml twice a day instead of 1ml twice a day...I don't see how that tiny amount will help but she's a doctor and knows what she is doing right?

Last night we skipped swimming lessons and went out to eat...not at FlatTop...I know all who know us are in shock!!! We went to Old Chicago. It was yummy and the boys sat in high chairs for the first time. They did great. I will have to post the pictures soon. In order to do it now I would have to unplug either the fancy smart phone and lose internet connection or unplug the chillmat and the computer would go too slow to load anything. I will try to get to it tomorrow but I am not making any promises. Andrew and I were actually able to eat a meal without holding a baby!!! We did have to watch Aaron every second because is go go gadgit arms kept reaching thing like forks and salt shakers and whatnot. The hostess gave the boys menus and crayons...Aaron tried to eat his menu and I think he actually did swollow some...I didn't let them have the crayons...I think they are too young... Both boys enjoyed chewing on the table inspite of the fact that I brought their favorite toys. It was pretty gross but I am sure the table gets cleaned more often than the high chairs and I wiped the table off with a wipee. Even if they ingested tons of yucky stuff I felt better using a wipee =) We stopped at Target after for diapers and formula and two cart/highchair covers. Having to buy two of lots of stuff kind of sucks and makes Andrew's checks not go as far!!! Speaking of Andrew's checks not going far....we are now excepting donations for a super gate....if you use paypal, you can send donations to hicksman42@yahoo.com. I am only sort of kidding...

I better go and help Aaron go back to sleep. Andrew is letting him touch everything and its really light in here and he can't calm down when there are things to touch...

Jen

maybe I am an awesome mom

Well....it's 7:52 pm. The babies took their last bottles at 6pm. Aaron left 3 ounces....Elliott drank one of Aaron's ounces...then Aaron puked a bunch...so since 6 I have fed two babies, bathed two babies (bathed Aaron twice because he puked lots in the tub), dried and dressed two babies (dressed Aaron twice because he puked what he ate 4 hours ago on his jammies), rocked two babies, and put two babies to sleep. I have also washed bottles, put the bath stuff away and straightened the living room a little. Now I am sitting down to finish my frosty. I am kind of tooting my own horn but probably not for long. I am guessing that Aaron will be awake in the next 15 minutes. He couldn't stay asleep for more than 5 minutes at a time last night from about 7:30 until about 9:15. It was nuts and I am not exaggerating. He slept for about 30 minutes and Andrew and I enjoyed baked potatoes from Wendy's (hence my frosty). He woke up after that I just took him to our bed where he slept happily until about 6:30 am. Elliott also had a bad night. He couldn't stay asleep and sounded in pain. Oh..Aaron is up!!! It only took 3 minutes!!! He is asleep again...hopefully for a longer time...like an hour...I would be happy with an hour. Aaron has decided today that he can't go to sleep on his own so now I am having to rock him too. It's kind of sweet but I want it to be over. I want them to fall asleep on their own and stay asleep for hours.

Elliott is sitting up very well now. He has also decided to sleep on his tummy, cross his ankles, and stick his butt up. I love it!!! Aaron isn't really doing anything new other than not eating much...I guess he really is eating just not when I want him to. We have some awesome pictures that I am not able to post on snapfish. It tried to load for an hour so I gave up. I will post some here. Well...I guess since it's 8:30 and my babies are sleeping I will read a book and wait for Andrew to get home. Later tater



Elliott does smile...just not for our camera


They are playing together.


They have a cool bench!


Aaron rolled under his bed and found toys!!!

They do wear clothes...they are not always in jammies...they are just usually the happiest after their first bottle in the morning...before they have had a day of not napping.

poop

yesterday was a cruel joke. we are back to 15 minute naps

napping again....for now

It scares me to write this but the babies are napping today!!! Elliott is falling asleep. . .on is own. . . in his crib!!! I rocked both of the back to sleep once during their first nap which lasted over an hour and a half. I didn't think I would get so lucky with the second one....but....Aaron slept for over 2 and a half hours and Elliott for over an hour and a half again. Elliott woke up and I was rocking him to sleep...his eyes were closed but he wasn't really sleeping I think...he was humming and smiling...anyway....they are now down for their third nap of the day. This one shouldn't be too long. I wish I knew that the second nap was going to be so awesome...I would have taken a nap myself but I didn't...I looked at double strollers online. I love our stroller but am interested in a side by side stroller that will fit through doorways and stores. They are super expensive. I am thinking that at some point in the near future the baby in the back of our stroller is going to be getting upset when he can't see anything. Maybe I should just wait until that happens. I would also love the convience of being able to steer it with one hand so I can read books better when we go on walks. I guess I am just acting spoiled. I am thankful for what I have.

So...a couple days ago Elliott decided that it was cool to sit and roll around. He doesn't sit as well as Aaron yet and doesn't roll as much but he is getting there. I can't decide if it was a terrible idea to sell (actually I guess we kind of gave it away since we didn't recieve any money) our pack and play. Our babies exceed the weight limit together for it so I guess it's okay. I have been wanting to get a supergate but now I don't know that we actually need it. I found a super fun one today that had all these toys on the "walls" of it. I suppose we can do without. I just need to babyproof the living room and get a gate to close off the kitchen. I think that Christmas is going to be crazy this year. Aaron touches EVERYTHING and wants EVERYTHING. I can't imagine the tree staying up and not falling over on him without some kind of gate to block it off...I guess we have a while to figure that out.

Jackson turned one a few weeks ago and it got me excited for the twins first birthday. I told Julie (the very old wise one) that she needed to start planning now...we are talking fireworks and slideshows....not really but I do want a super celebration of their life and how far they have come.....and the fact that hopefully Andrew and I will still be sane =)

I don't think that I have been poisoning Aaron. I think he has acid reflux and he maybe needs a different medicine. I am annoyed with him m a bit...he won't finish his bottles during the day and wakes up at night for a bottle. This morning when he woke up and I couldn't rock him back to sleep I freaked out and told Andrew to take him to work and see if anyone wanted him. I meant it a tiny bit too!!! The next time someone asks me which one they can take home you had better be prepared!!! I might have Aaron's stuff packed and ready to go =)

I can't get over how they are sleeping today! What had changed? I guess that eventually God does answer prayers...or it could be that I am having them drink their bottles before trying to feed them....Elliott still wants food...both his and Aaron's share...Aaron hasn't finished a bottle and isn't interested in food. I am not fearful of him losing weight...he is a butterball!!! If he's not hungry he is not hungry and the formula is more important than food I think. I do wish that I could just stop giving them formula. I could afford a fancy stroller if I wasn't giving them formula.

One more thing and then I will be done. I am currently using the laptop upstairs with internet provided by a fancy smart phone from Verizon Andrew gets to borrow so he can better educate his customers about this phone. I am trying to download pictures to snapfish. You may be getting a fun email with TONS of pictures in the near future...I know you are oh so excited =)

feeling a little better

So after my rant I felt a little better. I still feel like a terrible mother but my babies smile at me so I must not be the worst!!! I came upstairs after I didn't hear Elliott crying anymore...and was worried. He has NEVER fallen asleep crying as hard as he was...by the way...I don't understand why it is good to let you child fall asleep crying. It's terrible to fall asleep crying!!! Like nobody cares about you in the world!!! Anyway...Elliott was alive and asleep. Aaron became quiet as I walked upstairs. He was looking at the ceiling unmoving. I thought he was dead!!! Then he looked over at me and smiled soooo big and started kicking his legs. I picked him up and hugged him hard. Elliott woke up about 10 minutes later. He was just as happy to see me and even happier to eat!!! I am not saying that I don't feel the stuff I wrote...I do and some days I look at my babies and blame them for everything. ALL days I love my babies more than anything...never doubt that.

So...Aaron is rolling around all over the place. He loves to play on his tummy now (I keep soft toys from him as they are harder to clean puke off of!!!) Elliott seems content to be on his back. He can roll over...just chooses not to. I think that once he figures out that he can get around by rolling we will be in big trouble. I am also thinking that it won't be long before Aaron is crawling. When he sees something he wants he tries very very very hard to get it and often does....I don't know how...it doesn't look like he is moving...it's like he gets a go go gadget arm!!! Both boys are doing a fine job eating solid food. They love squash (especially butternut) and carrots...but only had carrots once and I think maybe I should wait awhile before giving them carrots again. Aaron has some nasty diaper rash...or something...I could post a picture of it.....Apples were not so good. Aaron cried actual tears when I fed him apples. Elliott ate them and loved them but then threw every last bit up...I am sure of it...I had to clean it all up!!!

The boys started swimming lessons. It's pretty fun to play in the water with them...no so fun to be seen in public in a swimming suit =( Aaron seems to like the water more than Elliott but Elliott also seems to sleep a little less and is kind of grumpy during lessons. Both don't like going under water and it kind of freaks me out to have their ears in the water and to have them getting chlorine in their eyes and mouths....also on their skin. Maybe I am over protective. I wanted them in lessons as young as possible because I think it's important to know how to swim and not be afraid of water. I taught lessons with moms and babies at the Y in Jacksonville so I suppose I could teach them to swim myself but we don't have a pool and it would cost much MUCH more to build one or get a membership to RiverPlex.

I have to go make Aaron go back to sleep now...
ps...thanks for calling Jillian and being so anti circ!!!

Jen

I am a terrible mother

This is not a happy blog about how the boys are doing so if you don't want to read about real life and my honest thoughts...go to a different blog.

Let me tell you why...I got sick so they came early. I must have done something wrong while pregnant for Aaron to puke all the time. My babies won't nap for more than 20 minutes anymore...and if one more person says "maybe since they are older they don't need to nap as much" I will punch them in the face. If you think that, how about you come stay with them for the day and tell me that they are getting enough sleep. Aaron won't sleep at night in his own bed. This must be my fault. Apparently we are supposed to let him cry until the sun comes up so he can learn to sleep by himself all night in his own bed....or maybe I just suck...when I hear other moms talking they talk about how bad they have it because their one baby won't sleep for more than 3 or 4 hours at a time...to you I say.... something explicit. I couldn't breastfeed so my babies are unhealthy. I tried to do better by making their baby food but I think I am poisoning Aaron because he won't stop puking and now eats about half of what Elliott eats. Want to know what is going on in the Hicks house right now? I am down in the basement so I can't hear Elliott and Aaron screaming. I told them that 15 minutes was not a nap...shut the door and walked away hearing them scream. I have a monitor that I turn on every 5 minutes to make sure one didn't choke on puke. Just checked....both are still screaming. Sometimes I think that I was not meant to have children. I have been told that when God puts a desire in your heart he will make it happen. Maybe God did not put my desire to have children in my heart. Maybe it was just my desire and we changed fate by me taking Clomid. Don't you think that perhaps I didn't ovulate for a reason....because God knew I would be a terrible mother? Sometimes I sit back and think about everything that the babies ruined. I have no freedom...I can't even go to the eye doctor or dentist!!! I am lucky to get my hair cut every few months and to get a shower every few days. Andrew and I get NO time together without thinking about how we can't buy something because we need to buy formula or diapers....or without a baby crying or needing to eat or needing a bath or wanting to be held. I will never be comfortable in a swimsuit or any other article or clothing again. I have no career, no free time to read or even have friends. Some days I am not this negative but today I am. If you think that I shouldn't write or even think these things then you either aren't a parent or you are lying to yourself. I asked Andrew last night why we wanted kids...not because I don't love mine....just because I couldn't remember why we wanted children so badly that I took drugs to get them. He said that we wanted children because it's a human experience and to further on the Hicks name....hmmmmm....just checked....they are still screaming....have been for 45 minutes now....who are you people who say a baby will "cry it out" in 15 minutes???? What a lie. There is so much pressure on me to be perfect and I am a terrible mother. What mother questions her reason for wanting children? What mother can't breast feed? What kind of mother has children that can't nap and puke ALL day long...I am not exaggerating...he pukes from his first bottle to his last...pukes after he eats and even right before. Come over and look at our puke stained carpet...now since they are eating solids....we have colored spots!!! What kind of mother can't speak up for her children...I should have told Dr. Maini that I didn't think they should start eating solids yet...just to see what she had to say but I didn't....I just followed her advise...I didn't want them to have shots, yet I didn't speak up and my babies were pumped full of stuff their little bodies could have probably done without. I stay home all day with them and just pray to God that I am not creating two psycho killers. Just thought of one more thing...I am a terrible mother because I put my babies to sleep on their sides and have bumpers in their cribs and give them pacis.