still sick but better

The boys are still sick. Elliott had to go back to the doctor Friday to make sure the nebulizer was doing its job. Aaron was sounding worse so I called to bring him in too. We saw Dr. Reed instead of Dr. Maini because Dr. Maini was on vacation. Elliott was much better. He is bad on his left side and Aaron is bad on his right. Aaron is having to use the nebulizer now too. They are still coughing tons and have stuffy and runny noses but they are feeling better. Aaron has reverted back to not being able to sleep without being held or in a big bed....oh well. We just need him to be over this sickness. Dr. Reed said they have bronchitis...I thought she said bronchitis but Julie thinks she may have said something else....regardless....their little colds turned into something worse. Dr. Reed said to make sure if they get fevers to bring them in right away for chest x-rays because they could have pnumonia. I think I like Dr. Reed more than Dr. Maini and want to switch. Dr. Reed seems to be more sensitive to their prematurity. I don't want to think of them as these weak little babies because they aren't but nothing will change the fact that they were born premature and their immune systems were compromised because of that....also that I believe that their other body systems could be just a little behind like their tummies. Dr. Reed introdued herself and said that she saw that they were preemies but not getting synagis. I was happy that they weren't getting synagis because I hate when they cry from shots...I hate when they cry in general....Part of me was a little nervous about Dr. Maini not wanting them to have Synagis again this year. I have been told by everyone else medically involved with the boys that they would most likely get the shot for two seasons. After them having to use a nebulizer I was more nervous about them not getting it so I was actually relieved that Dr. Reed ordered them to get it again.

In other news....they boys are feeling better and are super active. I did a treatment with Elliott at midnight on Friday/Saturday. He went crazy!!! He was so hyper!!! I layed down in baby jail and tried to sleep while he crawled all over the place like a crazy kid for 45 minutes. I didn't even turn on a light. Then he scooted over to me and whined and went to sleep!!! Aaron doesn't seem to get hyper at all from the treatments but Elliott hadn't either until that midnight one. Aaron hates them but will tolerate them if he has his paci...I don't know if it is as effective that way but otherwise he would be getting nothing and screaming at the top of his lungs. He falls asleep before its over.

I haven't been putting rice in Aaron's bottles because it seems like he shouldn't have such thick bottles when he is all congested. He hasn't been puking so I think maybe we will just stop putting rice in. Aaron is still crawling on his hands and knees....totally skipped the army crawl thing. He is slow but steady. Its so strange that a week ago they couldn't sit and now they do it like they always have....how amazing. Elliott pulled himself up to standing in his crib today. I put Aaron in Elliott's crib so I could keep them away from the nebulizer machines in thier room while I looked for missing pacis. I lowered the side of the crib and Elliott reached up and stood. I will attach a picture. He was so happy!!! He found that it's super fun to chew on the crib rail =) They will be walking before we know it and way before we are ready!!! Oh I almost forgot. I am a bit of a terrible mother. I left the vicks baby rub in baby jail. I was rocking Elliott and my mom was watching Aaron in baby jail. She looked away for a minute to do something and when she looked back Aaron had opened the baby rub and had it ALL over him. He smelled super good =) She didn't think he ate any because there were globs all over his clothes. We called poison control and they said it was fine and to give him a drink to get the taste out of his mouth...in case he ate some. My ever smart mom took it upon herself to take other things out of baby jail like butt paste that has a screw on top. I told her that they love to chew on tubes of butt paste....then she read on the tube that you need to seek immediate medical help if it is swallowed!!! So...lesson learned. I need to be much more careful about what I leave with my babies....they are smart and can do much much much more than they could before.

later
Jen


The boys in their new jammies from aunt Katie...notice the difference in their bellies!!!



Elliott standing =)



Elliott in a Pampers box



Aaron in a Pampers box

sick

The boys are sick. It is very sad. They have been sick before but not like this. They have terrible coughs and Elliott has to use a nebulizer. I am trying to be super cool about it but I am really freaking out. I know that lots of kids have to use a nebulizer...I even know two...Jake and Jackson, but it is still very very scary for me. Elliott really doesn't like it very much but has fallen asleep both times we have done it at home. He sounds much better!!! Dr. Maini said that if Elliott gets worse tonight and the breathing treatment isn't working to take him to the ER...then she said I don't want to freak you out....luckly I think that he is much better so I am going to try not to obsess and check on him every 5 minutes if he stays asleep. I wasn't even going to call the doctor because they say that they can't do anything for a cold., but he kept getting worse and Julie said to call...so I did. The office sounded like I was just an overreacting mom. The lady said that Dr. Maini did have an opening today and asked if I wanted to bring Elliott in...like I really shouldn't. I am very glad we did!!! Aaron started out with a cough on Monday I think...Elliott didn't until Tuesday. They both have runny/stuffy noses. Poor poor babies. None of us have really slept in 2 days. We tried to sleep with them in recliners last night so they could breath better but that didn't work at all. We put blankets under one end of their mattresses tonight so they would be more upright but they keep moving around and ending up at the bottom...then waking completly up and wondering what the heck happened!!! The other solutions are to have them sleep in their cribs in either bouncy seats or their carseats. I don't think they will sleep in either of those plus we let a fried borrow the bouncy seats and we have convertable carseats that aren't super easy to install. I suppose we could try to put them in the swings but I think they might weigh too much....and I am not confident that they would sleep in those either. Anyway....Elliott has to go back to the doctor tomorrow so his pulse ox can be checked and they can listen to him breath...his pulse ox was 91 before the breathing treatment at the office and 93 after...I don't know if that is super bad or not. Mine was 97 when my lung collapsed....Well...I am going to see if I can find something for dinner and try to sleep and not worry about my babies....that is if they sleep...

9 months

Elliott and Aaron are 9 months old today. I know I say this and get all sappy each month birthday but I can't help it. My tiny babies are for sure no longer tiny. My littlest baby is not the biggest baby and they are doing new stuff everyday it seems. Aaron sat up from a laying down position yesterday and Elliott did it today. Aaron took his diaper off yesterday and Elliott rolled around with the hood of his towel totally covering his face....he loved it!!! I can't help but think about how they weren't even really close to doing this stuff a month ago...They were just starting to sit super well and look at them now...crawling sitting up on their own, using more sounds....amazing. A year ago at this time I didn't even know we were having two boys...time flies.

Aaron had a better day as far as puking goes yesterday but today was terrible. I don't know if making the formula thicker is helping or not. I don't know what to do. He is so cute....so cute I can hardly stand it. Elliott is too...and so funny!!! I wish I had a reality show. The stuff they do needs to be recorded. I am not sure that Elliott will ever crawl on his hands and knees. He is so efficient doing it the other way. I think he will go from army crawl to walking. He was so cute this afternoon. Both babies had woken up from their naps and I went in their room to find Aaron all happy on his belly and Elliott sitting up trying to get the stuff on his mobile. I have been telling Andrew that we need to lower their mattresses for weeks...they are going to be pulling themselves up and falling out any day!!! We will have to do it tomorrow!!! Both can pull themselves up using a pair of adult hands but they haven't figured out they can pull up on the sides of the play yard or other furniture.

I tried hard to take some super cute pictures today but it didn't work. I let the boys stay in their jammies all day because they turned 9 months. I am going to post some pictures I took last week when we played outside. Oh my goodness does my eye hurt!!!! I think I have a sty in my eye and it makes me want to cry...


They like it outside



Aaron



Elliott



Aaron tasting grass



Elliott tasting grass

crawling

Well...it has happened. Aaron crawled on his hands and knees today. Elliott is still "army crawling" on his tummy. He gets on his hands and knees but gives up and does what he knows to get where he wants to go. Aaron isn't very good at crawling yet but he did it. He went after a paci =) He can only do like 2 or 3 crawls at a time then he rolls over and smiles. He is so funny. The first time he did it I picked him up and hugged him and I cried....first they were rolling then Elliott figured out how to move forward then he got a tooth and now Aaron can crawl....whats next...college and marriage?!?!?

After one of their naps today, I put Aaron in Elliott's crib to see if they would play. We keep 4 extra pacis in their room on the floor by their beds for night emergencies...ie: crying baby and a paci somewhere on the floor. I gave the babies the 4 extra pacis along with the two they had in their mouths from sleeping. They played together with their pacis for over 15 minutes!!! It was super cute. Elliott started pushing them out of his crib...I think its too early for them to be learning to pick up game!!!

The boys had their 9 month well baby check up yesterday. I was happy to learn that they didn't even need blood tests because I am not breast feeding and they are getting tons of iron from all the baby cereal they get. We got to leave the office with happy babies!!! Andrew went with Elliott to be weighed and measured. I don't know exactly what happened but Elliott was crying and I don't think they got an accurate measurment. They said that Elliott is 26 inches long (not on the chart for his age) 16lbs 13oz (the 5th percentile) and his head is 18 inches (75th percentile!!!). Aaron is 26 1/2 inches long (5th percentile) 18 pounds!!! (10th percentile) and his head is also 18 inches....they must be very smart with such big brains in those big heads!!! Dr. Miani said to put more rice cereal in Aaron's bottles and to make sure his food is also thick (it is). If that doesn't work we can give him 1.5 ml twice a day or try a different med. My mom and aunt made me feel kind of bad. They said that he is not having a problem eating and gaining weight so why bother with more or different meds...am I medicating him for me? So I don't have to change his sheets so often or feel bad because he has been sleeping on puky sheets for weeks? Do I just not want to clean up puke anymore and its really not about Aaron feeling good? I don't know...I don't like it when I puke and if I did it all day long I would want that to end...I think I am doing it for him. Dr. Maini said that she thinks he will outgrow it soon. Elliott will get another head ultrasound when he is 1. She didn't seem worried about him at all so I won't worry about him either. She asked if they clap and say mama dada baba....they don't...well...I think Aaron claps but Elliott doesn't and they don't say mama dada baba. I felt like I needed to tell her that they are awesome and to BACK OFF but then she said that they are doing wonderful and that she didn't really expect them to be doing all the developmental things that 9 months old do since they would be 7 months if they were born at the right time. She even said that she was happy to see them doing some things that kids do around 9 months!!! GO ELLIOTT AND AARON!!! Well...thats it!!! Have a super night...
Jen

teeth

I don't know that anyone reads this anymore...I don't blame them. It must be super boring!!! I am going to keep blogging because this way I can keep a record of milestones and someday I will put them in the babies baby books...which I don't have yet but someday I will find two that are as perfect as my boys.

So....Elliott's tooth finally broke through today. He won't let me see it but I can feel it. Its on the bottom/middle/right....I have to admit that I did cry when I felt it. It just makes me somewhat sad to see more and more of my babies turn into toddlers!!! I am also just so very proud of them. I know that there are many babies that are born smaller and sicker than Elliott and Aaron were but I had never seen a baby so small...I am AMAZED that they lived and they are developing so well. They really aren't even that behind. Aaron is trying hard to figure out how to crawl. I don't think that he will do the "army crawl"...he is just going to take off on his hands and knees one day....maybe tomorrow!!! I think that Aaron will crawl on his hands and knees first and Elliott will walk first. Andrew thinks that Elliott with do both things first. It's really fun having two and guessing who will do what first.

Yesterday we took the boys to Wildlife Prairie Park to go down the slide. It was also Andrew's first time down the slide. Elliott cried and Aaron just looked blah...I know they will LOVE it in a year or two!!! I would put the videos of the boys on the slide on this blog but the computer is going so slow that it is just now writing the word "this".....I had to go back and fix a bunch since I couldn't see what I was typing...

The ten month old little girl I mentioned in my last blog died yesterday. I cried hard and held Elliott (he was awake) and thanked God for giving us such healthy babies.

In other news...I am tired of feeling terrible about myself and am doing my best to do something about it. I have never thought too much of myself but for the past 3 or 4 years I have just not been that happy. I know that is crazy...I should be the happiest person on the planet!!! I am the only one who can change how I feel and I HAVE TO DO IT!!! There are some things that I can't change but I can change the way I think about those things. I have to be a positive influence for Elliott and Aaron. I want them to grow up feeling confident and I don't know if that can happen when I am not confident. I have the most supportive husband in the world so this shouldn't be tough right....RIGHT???? Alright...I need to do some cleaning. Have a happy happy night =)

thankful

Although I am not always an awesome mother or wife...in fact most days I am not and some days I wish I could go back to being just me for a day....I am so very thankful. I ran onto a blog listed in a monthly PMOT (Peoria Mothers of Twins) newsletter. Its from a family that has twin girls and a 10 month old daughter who is very sick. They are admitting the 10 month old to the hospital today for her to die. I cried and cried and wanted to go in and grab my babies and hold them forever. We are so lucky!!! Another PMOT member had her twins at 30 weeks I think. They are almost 3 months old now and one is still in the hospital on oxygen. I complain about the dumbest stuff and I suck!!! Our boys may be pukey and have sleeping troubles but they are home they are growing and they are healthy....they are amazing. We may be living paycheck to paycheck and sometimes not making it to the next paycheck but we have family that loves us and helps us in any way they can. We may not be able to afford to go on a real vacation but we might get to spend some time at Wildlife Prairie Park tomorrow and relax at home on Andrew's day off. It would be nice to be able to pay a bill when it came instead of figuring out when we could pay it according to Andrew's pay schedule...but we can't...we do get the bills paid and for that I am thankful. We are both healthy and love eachother and our two awesome babies. Please forgive me for dwelling on stupid things and being unhappy because I will never fit in my pre-pregnancy jeans again. Check out this blog...http://www.ilrohrers.blogspot.com and http://www.mikliks.blogspot.com....

Its Sunday

It's Sunday. We skipped church. Its hard to go when Andrew has to work. We would have to leave church early and I would have to drop Andrew off at work and then pick him up when he could come home. The biggest problem is that the babies are both sleeping and Andrew isn't home so I would have had to wake the babies to get Andrew from work...I don't think Jesus wants me to do that.

Today was kind of a tough day. Elliott is getting a tooth and I think it is making him cranky and clingy and making it difficult for him to sleep. I had not made baby food in a long time and the babies only had squash to eat. Grandma Ski bought green beans and peaches for me to make into baby food so I made the greed beans along with some pears yesterday. Today I did the peaches. I started to make the peaches and couldn't really stop once I started. About 5 minutes into it both Elliott and Aaron decided that they wanted to cry and were tired. I didn't want to stop and didn't think it would take too long. Aaron ended up falling asleep in "baby jail" (as Julie calls it). He found a pillow to snuggle with as well as Elliott's paci. I felt super bad about that. Elliott was still crying. Anyway...naps were not that great today and I felt a little distracted by things I wanted to get done...I feel like I kind of neglected the boys today. The fact that a tiny little tooth is coming out of Elliott's gums makes me so very sad. They are not going to be babies for much longer and I really really really love their gummy smiles.

It appears that both babies are asleep....I didn't hear a peep after I put them in their cribs. I had to take their bumpers out (I know that I was never supposed to have them in there) and now they can see each other. I think that helps...maybe. The problem is that they lose their pacis and they always fall where I cannot reach them. Maybe they will be getting rid of pacis at bedtime sooner then we thought!!!

In other news....I bathed the babies together in the big tub tonight by myself...and both lived!!! Maybe this does not seem like a super fantastic task but I am proud of myself so poop on you if you don't think I am awesome!!! Also, Aaron did not puke in the tub and neither of them peed before I got their diapers on!!! GO ME!!! I feel pretty awesome about the timing as well. They were fed bathed and asleep in 1 hour!!! I think that might be more efficient when I am alone. It seems like everything has to be done so fast now that we have the twins. When we are out with them we have to hurry around because they need to eat soon or they need to be napping or we don't want to hear one more person ask if they are twins or if they are identicle or tell us that our hand are full....at home I am in a hurry because one baby is always needing something so when I am changing one baby...that baby wants to be done and the other wants to be held or have his diaper changed ect...I love my life most of the time but to be honest sometimes when Andrew is leaving for work I think and sometimes say out loud "I don't want to do this today". On that note....Andrew is finally home...I am starving (not really as you know if you have seen me lately...I think I could not eat for years and still be fine) and it's time to eat the roast that I have been smelling in the crock pot ALL DAY!!! Enjoy the pictures!!!


Aaron in baby jail


Aaron's first time in a swing...this was taken May 18th.


Elliott's first time in a swing also on May 18th


This is just cute


Aaron eating a monkey with pen marks on his face...he tried to eat a pen earlier in the day...

I LOVE MY TWINS!!!

I will try my best to make this less boring and shorter!!!

Andrew and I just finished having a leisurely steak dinner outside...with two sweet sleeping babies inside!!! YAY!!! Andrew has a difficult time letting them fuss for more than 2 seconds but he is working on it. I always check on them if they are crying but not if they are just making noise....I have to add that its amazing how they really are not crying!!! They know that we love them and that we will pick them up when they need it. Aaron slept in his bed from about 7:15pm until 5:45am!!! I think he would have fallen back asleep but Andrew went in and got him when he made his first peep. He had gotten Elliott out of bed about 30 minutes before. I think Andrew is sad when he doesn't get to snuggle with a baby. I know that I miss them when I don't snuggle with them when they are sleeping!!! They are such happier babies during the day and they are so funny!!!

Andrew did not work this weekend. He took if off so we could go to a wedding reception in Chicago. I was SOOOO excited to go. We were going to get to see Val and Josh, Tree, and Josh, Jillian, and Jude....unfortunatly Andrew made a "poor financial decision" (that I don't want to talk about) which made it not possible for us to go. It was probably for the best since the babies are FINALLY getting used to sleeping in their beds. Plus...(Elliott, Aaron, and I) got to spend TONS of time with Andrew and it was super. We discovered that Andrew is an awesome carpet puke spotter!!! Sometimes Aaron pukes and we don't even know until we find the little puddle later...I know that gross but its our life and YOU are choosing to read about it =) We need to not have carpet I think....

On a bit of a side note....we went to a garage sale on Saturday and the people had twin boys. I was so excited about getting some winter clothes...(hint hint...the babies don't have any fall or winter clothes =) I felt that the clothes were priced too high for a garage sale. Also, I know how much it stinks to have to look at every clothing price tag and mulitply it by two and so did the garage sale mom. If we ever have a garage sale with clothes at it and a mom of twins in buying...she gets a two for one deal. It's the decent thing to do. Sure...I probably paid full price but that doens't mean I can't try to pay it forward right? I think that lots of places should give us two for one deals...like ALL doctors offices, department stores, grocery stores....Maybe I could get a hair cut if would could get two for one diapers or formula!!! I was sort of complaining about how the box of 204 diapers will be gone in 22-25 days for us but for a singe baby the box could last for almost 50 days!!! She said that the was she sees it is that most people will end up having at least 2 kids. When you have twins you buy enough for 2 at once. When you don't have twins you don't do that. She said that with inflation we might actully be saving money....thats a fun way to look at thing =) Speaking of saving money...my dear sister Julie found a ginormous play yard for $25.00!!! YAY YAY YAY!!! We can hold off on baby proofing the entire upstairs and the babies can stop rolling under the recliner!!! Well...I think I made this just as long and borning...sorry...Andrew is texing me to come downstairs and finish watching the movie we started last night (we couldn't stay up long enough to watch it...we are so old). LATER TATERS...enjoy the pictures =)


so....here is an awesome Elliott smile....then a pretty big Aaron smile....to bad they are in different pics!!!




Aaron getting to spend time with his daddy.......meanwhile Elliott found a cord to chew on =(



two baby smiles in ONE picture!!! That is some wicked redeye!!!

ah

So...Sunday was not such a good day..sort of. I am so very tired...so so so very tired and feeling like I have done so many things wrong with my little guys in their short lives. This somehow doesn't stop me from getting so mad at them when they are cranky and crying because they are so tired. So...Tuesday morning I really really really just wanted a bowl of cereal and a shower...I didn't feel that was asking much. Let me preface this by telling you about a book Annie brought here. It's called the 90 minute sleep solution. It says that babies have 90 minute wake cycles. This doesn't mean that they can only be awake for 90 minutes at a time...actually, the twins couldn't even stay awake that long when they were new!!! They can be awake for more than one cycle but are more likely to be able to fall asleep and stay asleep if put to sleep at the end of a cycle. I just want to say that I have been saying for MONTHS that my babies are tired after being away for an hour and a half...that's 90 minutes!!! Yay for me I am so smart =) So anyway...I was trying to really keep track of when they woke up and start getting them ready to nap just before the time was up. This by itslef was not working so great. The book said that the best way to get them to stay asleep is to let them cry it out but that is very mean when you have a sleep deprived baby. I waited until Tuesday when I wanted a shower and cereal. I very calmly put my babies in their beds and left the room. Andrew was leaving for work and look a little concerned. I didn't take a shower...I had to listen to them until they stopped. To my suprise they just kind of whimpered (I know it was very sad) for about 40 minutes. I felt so guilty but they were both sleeping!!! Elliott took 2 1 and a half hour naps yesterday!!! Each time I layed them down they whimpered for less time. By bed time they didn't whimper but maybe 7 minutes. Elliott woke up a couple times in the night and put himself back to sleep. He did this probably in 2 minutes. Aaron woke up after Andrew got home and we had just sat down to have dinner together...seriously I think I had just put my fork in the food. I told Andrew we should see if he could soothe himself. We finished eating and put the leftovers away. Then Andrew couldn't wait any longer and picked him up. He went back to sleep rather quickly but woke up a few minutes later. I rocked him for about 30 minutes and gave up. Andrew took him into the spare bedroom ( as he has done for at least 2 weeks) and went to sleep. When these babies finally do sleep on their own it is going to be a huge adjustment for Andrew and I to have to sleep in a tiny queen size bed together!!! Anyway....I heard Elliott wake up around 5am. I am sure he could have gone back to sleep on his own but I was freezing and thought he would be too...and I missed him...so into bed with me he went. He slept soundly until 7:30am and woke up smiling...this has not happened in weeks!!! Today Elliott did not nap as well but he napped. Aaron did a little better today and put himself to sleep several times. I think it's important that I didn't do this until now...I needed to be really insane and tired before being able to listen to my babies need me. I feel no guilt now. I think I did what was best for them and for me. It's like the breastfeeding thing...I was so exhusted from pumping every 2 hours that I couldn't take care of my boys like I needed to. Stopping was better in the short and long run....with the sleep thing I was seriously going crazy. I still think that probably I would like to talk to a therapist (I believe everyone could use a little therapy =) and I think at times that I am depressed and could use some drugs, but its like a weight has lifted off my shoulders these past two days. I know that I could still have some terrible days ahead but at least I see a light at the end of the tunnel. I want to be a happy positive mom for my babies...I want to be the old Jen...the happy, funny, smiling, non grumpy Jen...I know she is in here somewhere!!!

Now for some fun baby stuff
Elliott and Aaron are both scooting themselves backwards. It has to be a little frustrating. Andre and I both saw Elliott move forward by pushing his feet into the floor yesterday. I tried to get him to do it again but he got pretty frustrated. Aaron is an expert at changing directions..he spins on his sweet little tummy. They love to eat paper and chew on anything they are not supposed to. I think that I have hidden things well but they find them. Aaron found some scissors under a chair yesterday...I was too lazy to put them away...won't make that mistake again!!! Aaron has begun to do this funny little breathing thing and cute lip thing when he starts to fuss. Elliott is screaming as loud and as much as ever!!! I hope he stops that some day soon!!! Elliott continues to laugh in his sleep. Its probably the best thing ever. I wish you all could witness it happening. They both told me that they are very excited to see aunt Joy and meet uncle Dave...YAY!!! Oh...Aaron continues to puke all day long but he is interested in eating more...I guess I would rather him eat less and puke less but I don't know when to make him stop or if I should even do that. They see the doctor at the end of the month and I AM NOT LEAVING UNTIL I GET THE ANSWERS I NEED!!! Probably I will forget when I am even concerned about. I am so stressed out by all the shots they are getting and by how much weight they have gained I don't know what I am doing. This doctor visit they will just be have a little blood drawn...hopefully it won't be as bad as the shots...those are terrible and I am going to do some research to see what shots they can do without (probably all but I am just not that crunchy...I want to be but am not). Now for some pictures...

Aaron eating paper at Old Chicago...his first time in a restaurant high chair=)


Elliott at Old Chicago...also his first time in a restaurant high chair



This should be on a MacMurray College recruiting pamphlet...


Andrew proudly wearing Aaron in the prettiest slingling we own =)


Aaron and Elliott with their Great Grandpa Shurts

i am defeated