Elliott and Aaron are 2 months old (actual age)

They made it two whole months...maybe I should say that we have made it two whole months. They have been home for a little over month and I think that we have already spent a small fortune on diapers and formula. Annie has bought her share of diapers and formula as well!!! I have to be honest here. I ALWAYS love my babies but I don't always LIKE them. For instance, just 5 minutes ago I was holding Aaron and he would not stop crying. I have things I need to do....normal things like pee. He was just so tired!!! I really didn't like him at that moment. I love him dearly so I gave him to Andrew and he immediately calmed down. I am so thankful when that works. Andrew is better at soothing Aaron and I think I am better at soothing Elliott. Maybe Elliott is just a less fussy baby or sleeps well like his mommy =) Anyway...I just thought I should write on their two month birthday. Also on this day I left the boys for the first time. Andrew had the day off and I needed to take lots of stuff back to lots of different stores. I didn't everything I wanted to do done because I missed them too much!!! I wasn't really worried about them because they were with their daddy, but I think I would worry if they were with anyone else. I am sure this will pass. Oh...I finally was able to take a shower last night. I posted pictures of the boys taken today. Aaron is on the bottom. I guess that is it..have a super day!!!
Jen

HELP!!!

I just had the most terrible 20 minutes of my life!!! I may be exaggerating...a little. Both boys were SCREAMING and I was freaking out. Elliott was poopy (YAY!!!) and Aaron was sooo tired. I was changing Elliott, which he didn't like at all, while Aaron sat screaming in the baby papasan chair. I wanted to calm Elliott down and put him into the bassinet before getting Aaron. I was crying because he was crying and I think that I may have harmed him mentally. I ended up figuring out a way to hold both of them until they both calmed down and I was able to put both of them into the bassinet. Now Elliott is grunting in the bassinet like he is in pain or uncomfortable while Aaron is sleeping peacefully. It's 5:46. They will eat again at 6:30 but I think that Elliott is beginning to wake up and he will want to eat. I used to have time to nap but now that they are awake more and take longer to go to sleep, I have no time. I feed and change them one at a time. After they eat they have to be held for a little bit just to make sure they are not going to throw up. They usually cry when I put them down but I have to because at that time the other baby is so hungry he is crying like crazy. After all the feeding and diapering is done I have to pump. Then wash bottles. By then usually one of them has woken up and is upset and screaming. I calm that baby and put him back to sleep. THen it's about time to eat again. What a busy mom I am . I try to get some laundry done in between times and I would love to paint a room or unload the dishwasher for Annie but I just don't have time. This is crazy, but AWESOME!!! I added a couple pictures of the boys on their due date. They managed to get baths yesterday, but I still didn't. This would not be a good time to stop by as you would throw up from my stench!!!

Elliott and Aaron are 0!!!

First of all I want to bring you attention to the last part of my last blog. I made so many spelling errors!!! I guess blogging that early with little sleep does not make me seem very smart =)

The day finally came. Today was my original due date. That makes Elliott and Aaron 0. This is so exciting I guess. They only woke up once to eat during the night. I think we are supposed to still wake them up to eat but we really don't want to. They don't seem extra hungry, and I think its important for them to sleep. I wish we had a baby scale. I want to know how long they are and how much they weigh on this momentous day. Also how big their heads are. I know I can measure them here but the doctor and a baby scale would be more accurate. I guess that starting today I can begin to count down to when they will meet all their milestones. I think that they are ahead of their adjusted age and will meet their milestones when they are at their actual age. Elliott wants to talk really super bad and both are amazing and being able to move their heads around...they will be holding their heads up before we know it. I am excited for them to smile socially. Julie (my oldest sister...she is really old too =) thinks that they will be smiling socially in the next two weeks. She is so very old and wise so I am sure she is right. They are really staying awake more. They look around with these ginormous blue eyes. Its really sweet. Unfortunately for us, they seem to not sleep very soundly when they are in their bed. They do better with us. They are rather restless during the day and seem exhausted in the evening. Last night we each slept with one. I had Elliott from midnight to 8am. Andrew had Aaron from I think 5am to 8am. I know that sleeping with them is not harmful to them but we want them to be able to sleep alone. I think I have said this before...we also sleep better when they are not with us. I believe that its natural to have a "family bed", having your babies sleep with you, but I think that I don't want them to get to used to that. It doesn't seem like the right thing for our family. On the other hand, the babies slept with me for 7 months when they were inside. It has to be strange for them to sleep alone. I guess they really aren't alone, they have each other. I don't know...I am torn. I want them to be healthy and happy and to be trusting and know that we are always there for them. I think that my last job has made me a little crazy about attachment theory. We had kids in group who did not form positive attachments with their parents. They had major problems because of that. I want to make sure that Elliott and Aaron are able to from positive attachments with the people that love them, are able to trust as well. These attachments form in infancy. I feel that if I screw anything up now they will be messed up for life!!! That's a lot of pressure!!! Having two makes things even more difficult. When they are both awake, one is sort of being neglected. It's super hard to give both of them my undivided attention...AGH

On a completely different topic, Andrew and I were feeding the boys this morning and watching Wonder Pets. Ming Ming and Tuck were saving a baby mouse. Lenny was sick and was not with them. Ming Ming called Lenny a "she". What!?!?! Lenny the Guinea Pig is a gir!?!?! This is breaking news!!! Maybe her name isn't Lenny. Andrew thought maybe they were saying Winnie or Linny...I don't know!!! My world has just been turned upside down!!! If anyone reading this is an avid Wonder Pets watcher, help me get to the bottom of this.

I think that I am going to pray that the babies stay asleep now so I can take a shower. I haven't had a shower since Sunday!!! GROSS!!! The boys also need a bath. They are getting stinky =( SInce they are over 5 pounds they get to use electrode belts for thier apnea monitors instead of the sticky things which I think means that we can start using lotion!!! YAY!!! Until next time....
Jen

two days left

Well...this sure is an exciting time. The boys are almost 0!!! That's right. My due date is the 23rd...two days!!! I can't believe we have had them around for 2 months already. What sucks a little is that most parents think that is two months down...YAY...for us it's like we have had them for two months but those two months they were supposed to be inside so it doesn't really count as far as development. When I read that the babies will cry the most at 6 weeks and then start to cry less...I am thinking that we are almost done....but then I read that it is 6 weeks after the due date so really we haven't even started. This makes me nervous because sometimes Aaron will cry and cry and can't be calmed. It seems like hours but really it's probably only a few minutes. I think that all in all our babies are super calm and awesome. I thought that I wanted them to be awake and alert more, but now that they are doing that I am wishing they would sleep all the time again =) Like I mentioned in my last blog, I am reading a couple books. One is How to Soothe Your Newborn (or something close to that). The other one is Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. In Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child it talkes about not letting your baby be awake for more then a 1-2 hour window or they will be overtired and not be able to sleep. This totally freaks me out. I keep watching the clock during feeding times and trying so hard to make (usually) Elliott go back to sleep before he has been awake for too long. I want them to be able to fall alseep away from Andrew and I. It also talks about putting the baby in bed before they are totally asleep so that they will learn to self soothe and fall asleep without being held. This is so important!!! Since there are two and I am only one and Andrew has to work, they both cannot be held all the time. I want them to sleep at the same time (as any mother would) so they HAVE to learn to fall asleep in their bed. As healthy as I believe it is to allow your infant to sleep in the "family bed", this is not all that do-able for us. We don't sleep well with them in bed with us because it's not as comfy when you are constantly worried that you will roll over one. We do let them sleep with us when they won't settle down...worried sleep is better then no sleep!!! All in all the boys are doing great. They look like regular babies instead of tiny babies and are eating and gaining weight like the little piggies they are.

It looks like we are going to put on offer in on the house. Here is a link...I hope it works...http://www.maloofrealty.com/search/listing.asp?mls=1090788&MLSArea=1
We will need to remove ALL the wallpaper and paint everything but it's nice right? Plus, we will be just about across the street from my sister Julie. Right now we live with my sister Annie. It will be sad to leave even though we are really out growing our room. The boys have their own room but I just can't separate from them yet. I have been complaining about not having our own space to live for months. Now that we are close to having our own space, I am worried and sad to leave. I am going to miss Annie a ton!!! This house is pretty much everything we have been looking for but haven't been able to afford...we can't affort this one either since our house in Elkhart hasn't sold. It's missing a fireplace and the garage isn't attached. We could make the garage kind of attached, but I don't think we will be adding a fireplace. Maybe we won't even get it. Who knows.... Joe (the bother-in-law and fix it champion) is looking at the house this morning to make sure that any repairs it needs he can repair. This is a definate benifit of living back in Illionis!!!

I need to try to catch some z's before having to feed my sweet little -2 days old babies. I just had a wonderful left over salisbury steak breakfast...thanks mom =) Later taters
Jen

Just a Penny!

Well I am home from work today watching the babies, so Jen's running around starting laundry and then getting a relaxing shower, which is equivalent to a 3 week vacation in Fiji when you are caring for these kids 24 hours a day.

We are starting to get used to the cat naps and trying to have some sense of night and day, both for the babies and for us. Apparently we are supposed to interact with them less during the night feedings than the day feedings, so they start to know that night time is for sleeping and midnight milky snacks and not for play time. And as for us, we try to stay active during the day mostly out of habit, but probably also a little because it seems more normal. Doesn't hurt that we've had a few "sunshiney" days to appreciate, too.

Of course, I am also working 40 to 45 hours a week in my sales job with Verizon, which is supposed to be a high energy, fast-paced job and somehow that's still going pretty well, but I have learned to do it in a low energy, slow-paced way, with similar results. Jen still tries to get most of the feedings done on her own on the nights that i work early the next day, which I absolutely love her for.

But here's the best part! Since I have learned the importance of keeping that energy up, I have also learned the joy of a good cup of coffee. And today, on the way back from a 7:30am store meeting, I grabbed some hotcakes and sausage from Mcdonalds for Jen and I (babies don't eat hotcakes), but I forgot to buy myself a cup of coffee. Instead of doing another lap around the drive-up, I headed home in coffee-less shame.

But on the way, I remembered it was Friday! And you know what Friday is, don't you? (Probably not.) It's "Coffee for a Penny" Day! That's right, this little coffee shack around the corner from our house called Kade's has fresh gourmet coffee for a penny! I always thought it was a gimmick from the signs out front, like it was buy one for $4.25 and get one for a penny. But the need for a good steaming cup was too great. I couldn't turn back. So, I drove up Penny in hand, and I asked if it was really true. They said it was, and in a moment, I drove off with a hot, Tall-sized Tanzanian Peaberry flavored coffee with cream(one of two choices) and also a sense of accomplishment! I had purchased a cup of coffee for a penny! When's the last time anyone you know did that?

Hmm...most of the time I have a good moral to the story here. ... I'm thinking...Thinking. Nope, I'm just a overly-worked, sleepy Dad whose happy to get a good cup of coffee for a Penny. Okay? And Peaberry doesn't taste like Pea, in case anyone is wondering. :)

its been a while

It's been a while since I have blogged...sorry. I am so very sleepy and it seems like such a pain to turn the computer on.

I don't think lots has changed since I last updated. I was able to feed both boys at once...in their carseats. It wasn't bad. Burping is still an issue, but I think Elliott and Aaron are getting more patient and they know that they will get to eat as soon as they burp. Andrew bought two books on half.com to help us learn how to best help the boys sleep and be happy. I just scanned through one last night (written by a doctor) and I am pretty sure that it suggests having the boys sleep with us. They sleep much better when they are with us. Elliott doesn't make a sound and when he is in the bassinet is groans and grunts..like he is uncomfortable or in pain. It's an awful sound. They also don't puke as much. A home health nurse came here on Monday to give the boys their anti-RSV shots. They hated it but were quickly calmed. She weighed them...Elliott weighs 6 pounds 8 ounces and Aaron is 6 pounds 2 ounces. It seems like Aaron will quickly catch up to Elliott. They are getting pretty fat...I think that they need to be off of the high calorie formula. I know it's important for them to gain weight but it's not healthy for them to be fat. Plus...I think the formula is hard for them to digest. If only I could breastfeed....

Andrew had the day off yesterday and we looked a like a million houses. We took turns going in the houses to look around so the boys didn't have to be taken in and out of the car a bagillion times. It looks like we might put an offer in on a house in Mackinaw. Grandma Bock (Patti, Andrew's mom for those that do not know) is coming here on Friday and will go through the house with Andrew. I will most likely stay home with the boys...that's my life...and I kind of like it!!! Just a side note...sometimes I feel trapped at home, but as soon as I get out I want to be back with the boys and when I take them out *gasp* I worry and just want them home. I am nervous and can't relax when I am not with them. It is nothing against anyone who might want to give us a break and stay with them...I think it's that I'm a new mom and can't stand to think that my babies could die without me there and I would have missed precious time with them...and the fact that it's hard for me to let anyone do anything for me because they will do it "wrong". I know that sucks and I am working on it. Andrew has made formula twice!!! That's a big step!!! Back to the house...the house in Mackinaw was built in 2000 and went into foreclosure. Our relator, Mario, thinks we can get a pretty good deal on it. It will be sold as is and we will have to pay for an inspection...which we will!!! It's practically across the street from my sister Julie which is awesome, but probably 20 minutes further for Andrew to get to work and from our doctor and the hospitals. I will be sure to keep you updated on our house search and the selling of our house in Indiana.

Last Saturday I was finally able to have a baby shower. It was fun. I loved seeing my cousin (once removed? =) Shelia and her twin girls Kristen and Miranda. Also Andrew's aunts from Iowa, Ann and Sheila. It's that fun to have two Shelia, Sheila's together and spelled differently? Sheila took tons of great pictures...including a picture of my twins with the other Shelia's twins. This girls were awesome!!! We all need to get together more often. Two of my great aunts were also here and all of my regular aunts...except for Joy in Florida. It was fun and we had yummy cake made by Annie...if anyone needs a super awesome fun cake call Annie...I can help sometime and make a cute baby out of fondant. Anyway, the boys were given some great stuff that we have already put to use. Andrew and I finally put one of the cribs together last night and completed it with a mattress and sheet Annie gave to the boys. Now I need to decide whether or not I am ready to move them to the next room over. I'll have to read the book to see what it says =) Fisher-Price Space Saver High Chairs are the best invention ever and we were so blessed to be given two of them...the boys don't need them now but they will in no time. I went online a couple days ago and bought cute bedding for the boys and some other things that we did not receive.

I can't seem to stay on one subject at a time...A lady from the health department came over yesterday...I don't really know how she helps but we I guess she can stay involved. She talked to us about how it would be good if we could qualify for a medical card for the boys. I don't think that we do but if we do then we could probably get WIC and that would pay for formula...that would be a huge help!!! The boys get one bottle of breast milk a day and the rest is formula. It is so very expensive, but I don't think that we will be able to get it. They look at gross income and it looks like Andrew makes a lot with commission...only like half of that is taken in taxes. Anyway...this computer doesn't know that it is plugged in and is about to die. SOrry this is so long and boring. Later taters

Jen

I'm learning!!!

Well...I have learned two valuable lessons in the past 30 hours. The first is that I am clearly not coordinated enough to bottle feed both the babies at once in a boppy. I bet it looked super funny. I wish it would have been video taped. I had both boys in a boppy but the kept rolling towards each other and trying to each others head. I finally was able to get them straight and was able to feed them. Then I started to panic about how I was going to burp them. When there is only one baby in the boppy, that baby falls over and looks terribly uncomfortable. I decided I could burp them both at once. I was able to get a baby on each of my shoulders and tried to burp them, but they were so unhappy!!! I laid them down and fed them one at a time while the other screamed. Maybe tomorrow I will try to feed them in their car seats. They will be upset when the other is being burped but it should save time right?

The second thing I learned is that I really really REALLY hate Huggies and Luvs diapers. I want my beloved Pampers again!!! I thought that I would love the Luvs because they have Blues Clues on them but I do not love them. Its like Huggies and Luvs are made of paper and Pampers are more cloth like and they seem to fit the boys better. We have a bunch of Huggies that came with a diaper cake and my BFF gave us Luvs. The Luvs are much better than the Huggies..in fact...we just aren't using the Huggies. I think the biggest problem with the Huggies is that the tabs are not sticky on any part and we need the sticky part to help keep the babies monitor cords from pulling the sticky things off their bodies when they are picked up and stuff. The sticky part on the Luvs tab is not very sticky and its small. This is a very useless paragraph...I am sorry that you just read it!!!

Elliott and Aaron continue to do well. Their monitors were downloaded yesterday and Dr. Maini called me today with the results. They weren't all that good. All this time we thought that Elliott was beeping more than Aaron, but were happy that both seemed to not be beeping as much...until the past two days when Aaron decided to have a low heart rate. Anyway, Dr. Maini told me how many clinically significant apnea's both boys had. I can't remember the numbers but Aaron had more than Elliott. When she said apnea I think its low heart rate because Aaron only beeped for an apnea once and they told me that was a false alarm. I think Aaron had like 9 and I really can't remember Elliott's number. Aaron's number was high enough that we could put him back on caffeine. He has been off caffeine for some time. Dr. Maini asked if when he beeped if he ever turned blue...I told her no and so she said we would hold off on the caffeine and would just keep watching him. She did not seem too concerned and said to have the monitors downloaded again in 4 weeks. Both boys are awake more now and are more picky about when they want to eat. I was so happy to bring them home already on a schedule but it's not sticking anymore. I am sure we will all get back on some kind of schedule soon. It's fun that they are awake more because they are so curious. I love to talk to them and have them look at me. They are so awesome. The only problem is that we don't really have a place to put them when they are awake. I can't hold them both for a super long time when they are all wiggly and we only have one bouncy seat. We do have two boppys but they don't sit in them very well and don't like them because of it. I'm sure we will figure that out too.

Well...I am off to take a nap before feeding my little sweeties again. Later taters
Jen

zzzzzzzzzzz

I don't have much to say...too sleepy. I am, however, very thankful that my mom made tons of home cooked yummy meals and froze them so Andrew and I can eat. I don't really eat anymore. It takes too much time, plus I would would have to go grocery shopping and who has time for that!!!

The boys are doing well. They are still struggling with pooping but are doing better. Aaron had some problems last night throwing up two entire bottles. I freaked out (of course) and had to call the doctor. His monitor has been going off much more frequently as well. He had a apnea episode then had projectile vomit...that was what made me call the doc. The on call doctor said it was not big thing and to make sure to have the monitors downloaded today. She said to watch his temp and his breathing and if it looks like he is having difficulty breathing to bring him in. He still has a stuffy nose and sounds sick. It doesn't help that his eye is always goopy as well. He looks sick sometimes but I think he is fine. Mom and I took the boys to the hospital to have their monitors downloaded. The lady told me that Aaron's apnea was a false alarm. I don't know how they can tell.

Both boys are growing so fast. Preemie clothes are not really fitting anymore =) The newborn stuff is still way too big but we are making due. Both boys are holding their temperature better so we don't feel like we have to make them burrito babies and wrap them in blankets. Both boys did not scream during their baths yesterday either...making me think that they weren't cold.

On a fun and happy note...I finally get a baby shower!!! It's this weekend. I am somewhat nervous about people coming here and playing pass the babies. We do have face masks for those who are coughing and sneezing and tons of antibacterial instant hand sanitizer, but will that be enough? Some days I look at the boys and think they are perfectly normal and am ready to take them shopping to Target. Then Aaron pukes all over the place and I start to freak out all over again. I will be so happy when the weather gets nicer and we can go for walks (that is if we are given a stroller for the shower *hint hint*) and just get out of the house without worrying. It will be nice when Julie's kids and Cassidy can be near the boys as well. I am also looking forward to the day that my hands don't feel like sandpaper from all the washing and sanitizing =) Well...guess that is it for now. Sorry so boring...this is my life...feeding, changing diapers, worrying, loving the boys, and sleeping sometimes. If you happen to be in the neighborhood...stop on by with some diapers, formula, and dinner!!!
Jen

The importance of napping

Well...EVERYONE has told us to sleep when the babies sleep. Did I listen...nope and now I am paying. I was so crazy last night I thought the babies were in on their own little conspiracy to keep me awake. Elliott was so fussy!!! I picked him up and laid him down in our bed while I tended to a fussy Aaron. The second I put him down in our bed he stopped crying!!! Like he needs to sleep in a queen size bed!!! What a brat!!! I love my babies ALL the time but I LIKE them a lot more during the day when they sleep better =)

Dr. Denise (the chiropracter) is coming to the house today to adjust the babies...hopefully find Elliott's "poop button". Aaron does not need his pushed at this time. He was poopy at almost every diaper change yesterday. It seemed like he was having a hard time getting rid of all the poopiness at once. I think that probably 8 out of every 10 diaper changes Aaron pees on whoever is changing him. It's some kind of talent he has. We are getting better and better and keeping the pee from getting all over his clothes and blanket and us but it still happens sometimes. I think whoever invented the "peepee teepee" was super smart. Aaron spit up what Andrew thinks was all of his bottle this morning. Normally I would freak out but Dr. Maini didn't think that spitting up an entire bottle just once a day was a big deal so I won't freak out. We took his temp and it was fine. OH....I don't think that I have blogged since they went to the doctor on the 31st. Elliott weighed 5lbs 5oz and Aaron 4lbs 15oz!!! Aaron gets to be in the regular carseat!!! Andrew called St. Francis today to find out what we are supposed to do with the carbed. Praise God that we get to get rid of that thing. The boys are really getting fat!!! Elliott is almost too long for the preemie clothes now, but the newborn clothes are WAY too big. It's too bad most of the preemie stuff is footed. Oh well...he will just have to wear stuff that is too big for a while. The way they are growing it won't be long before they have outgrown lots of their clothing.

It looks like its feeding time again...until next time...
Jen