Andrew brings peace

in the picture Elliott is on the left and Aaron's shirt says "two cute" not "cut"

The boys are doing great. No monitors went off at all yesterday and Elliott pooped. I am sure he feels better. I think we are still battling with reflux issues, but I am going to talk to Dr. Maini about that tomorrow. I am so excited because my BFF is coming today. She is amazing and I don't get to see her nearly enough. Also, I get to have whatever I want from Pizza Hut!!! It's the small things = ) I guess I am not really eating these days. I am either feeding the babies, calming them when they don't feel well, sleeping, or pumping. There really isn't time to take care of myself. Andrew does not work this week and I am going to take advantage of that. I am going to get my hair cut, a pedicure, and my eyebrows waxed....I am in dire need to have an eyebrow wax...or threaded. Anyway....I can be freaking out all day about how I think the boys are sick because they spit up too much or because they aren't pooping and then Andrew comes home and makes me think everything is fine. I am so happy that he will be home all next week. I am excited to go to the doctor tomorrow to have the boys weighed and measured. Also, thanks to Jillian I might have a way to feed my boys the good stuff...mothers milk!!! I am still struggling with the fact that the boys have mostly formula but have not given up hope. The Medela website seems very helpful.

The boys are developing their own personalities. Elliott lets us know when he is angry while Aaron seems a little more laid back. I just can't wait to see what they are like a few months from now!!! Well...Aaron is waking up and probably wanting some lunch. Have a super day!!!
Jen

No eye worries

The boys had their fist eye appointment today. The doctor was so fun and the staff was also awesome. They told me everything that they were going to do several times to make sure I understood and told me that they like for the parent to hold the baby but if I couldn't handle it then I didn't have to do it. I did hold both babies. Elliott was first. They take this thing that makes the eye stay open. First they dilated their eyes and put some stuff in to numb them so they couldn't feel it. It would hurt very bad. The doctor said if they didn't numb them that the babies would jump up and crawl away because it hurts to bad. Then he put the eye opener thingy in. Since the babies don't do what you tell them like "look to the left", the doctor used a tiny Q tip to move their eyes around. It was pretty gross but I looked at their faces the entire time and talked to them. They cried about the light being in their eyes I think because once the light was taken away and the eye opener thing taken off they stopped crying. The car ride was good too. Aaron was a little fussy but didn't scream like he did the other two times he had to ride in the car bed. Elliott fell asleep. Both babies monitors did beep while we were at the doctor. Elliott didn't beep until his brother was being examined. Aaron beeped after he was done. Not a big deal though.

Elliott hasn't pooped in three days...unless he poops tonight. I called the doctor to see what they wanted me to do and I was told to give him sugar water. That is way more fun than a suppository!!! I also let the doctor know that he was very gassy. She said to give him Milecon drops to make him more comfortable. I was going to have Andrew get it on his way home from work but Elliott was so uncomfortable he didn't sleep for like an hour. He was even slightly unhappy when being held. I went to Walgreens and found Little Tummies. He seems to be sleeping much better now. He also loved the sugar water. I just don't know when to give it to him. She told me to give him an ounce 3 times a day, but an ounce is kind of a lot when they don't even eat two ounces at each feeding. If I give it to him before he won't be hungry and he won't take it after. I gave it to him an hour before he ate, and he had a difficult time finishing his bottle. I am sure I'll figure it out. Later tonight Elliott beeped 10-12 times. His heart rate was down and he had stopped breathing. I was washing bottles. Andrew said that he shook him a little (not like baby shaken syndrome shook him!!!). He stopped beeping at about the same time Andrew shook him so it's hard to tell if he did it himself. I kind of freaked out and cried and am still pretty upset. I kind of want to take them both back to the NICU and keep them there until they are like 3 months old. This worry is making me crazy. I am trying so hard to not worry and give it to God, but they are my children!!! My only children. Oh my....I hear one of the babies really crying...I think I need to go change diapers and feed them!!! Please pray for my little guys...
Jen
PS...I didn't forget about Aaron. He is doing well. I think he has more of a reflux problem and has issues sleeping because he is laying too flat...even though we have them propped up. He is so cute and gaining weight I am sure...he has a double chin!!! Hopefully he will be out of the car bed and into his carseat in the next week or two = )

He finally passed!!!

Well...we have had a busy couple of days. Elliott FINALLY passed his carseat test on Christmas Eve =) I cried I was so happy. I think it was because one of his favorite nurses, Rebecca, was there to do the test...and they let him test in an actual carseat not a carbed. Now the boys are sleeping side by side. They are so cute. In the picture, Elliott is on the left. They sleep pretty well together. In fact, last night was the first night that Aaron did not have to be held for an hour while he was sleeping. He just needed his brother I guess. Andrew and I are so proud of our little boys and their progress. He is at the doctor with Elliott right now while I am supposed to be napping while Aaron is asleep. I am pretty tired. The night before last, Andrew got up at every feeding and diapered and fed one baby. I thought I should get used to him not doing that since he won't be able to when he has to work the next day. He got up at 2:30am but I did the 5:30 and 8:30 feedings myself. It's hard work. I have to pump each time they eat so it's a little hard to get sleep. I think I will venture out today and use some gift cards for a baby monitor, diapers, formula, and bottles. Annie was awesome enough to get a ton of receiving blankets and burp cloths. The amount of laundry really has surprised me. They are such little guys to have so much laundry!!! Oh my...I am beginning to fall asleep as I write this...I guess I should just give in to the sleep!!!
Jen

sleep is awesome...I miss it =)

Well...I think we should have been on "Bringing Home Baby". We did much better in the first 36 hours then the people I have seen. Andrew has been AWESOME!!! Way to go in raising him Patti!!! He is already a super dad and husband. I get up with Aaron in the early AM (2:30 and 5:30) then when I think I can't get up again, Andrew is ready to feed Aaron and snuggle with him if he gets fussy. I love how much he loves his babies.

Elliott is being a poop...he did finally poop last night after some help, but he pooped tons!!! It was army green. Today he was put back on the pulseox (I just don't know how to spell that) today so that everything that is monitored can be downloaded and they can see what he is doing and maybe why he isn't passing his car seat thing. He will be tested again on Monday or late Sunday night. The sleep disorder center place that will look at the downloaded information from the monitors is not open on the weekends so I am guessing that is why they are waiting until Monday to test him again. I brought his car seat to the hospital and I think he would pass in it because it doesn't lay flat like the carbed. His nurse tonight said that his heart rate did go down enough 2 or 3 times today that the alarm dinged 1- 3 times. This really isn't a big deal. He didn't need any help to bring the rate back up and I am guessing that if full term babies were put on monitors they might ding as well. Aaron dinged again today for a low heart rate. I just stared at the monitor, seeing that his heart was still beating, until it stopped dinging. It only dinged 3 times. Aaron was sleeping soundly...maybe he got too relaxed. I guess I don't want Elliott home if he isn't ready but it almost sucks more to have one baby at home and one in the NICU. Plus...the baby that is in Aaron's old spot might have NEC....so so so very scary. I need to sleep a little before I get to get feed Aaron at 2:30. I am super distracted so I am not sure this makes much sense. Later taters!!! Keep on praying..and I love your comments. I would reply if I felt I had time..I could make time...maybe...just know that I love reading your comments!!!
Jen

Guess who's home?

Thursday:

Andrew here: We brought Aaron home last night after the 8:3opm feedings. It was hard to say goodbye to Elliott for the night as we took only Aaron with us, but we couldn't help but be excited. The car ride was pretty good, but it was obvious he didn't like his restraints in the preemie car bed. He did pretty well overnight with sleeping, and took all his feedings well. But we were a little concerned a few times when he was making some grunting noises and sounded uncomfortable...don't think it was pooping either, since it was on and off for a couple of hours. He does have a small portable monitor, though, and it only went off once during the night for a low heart rate that immediately corrected itself. We mainly just enjoyed having the quiet and privacy to love our little boy and hold him for as long as we wanted.

Friday:
Today was Aaron's first doctor's appointment with the local pediatrician. He didn't do so well in the car bed. It didn't help that I made a wrong turn on the way to the doctor's. But he spit up once on the way there, and cried quite a bit. Once we got there, the appointment went well, with the doctor giving us some helpful hints about cleaning around his goopy eyes, and making him more comfortable at home. The only thing that didn't go so well was his spitting up 2-3 times on the exam table. (We might have learned not to feed him right before an appointment.) On the way home, he hardly cried at all, and didn't spit up either.

We have only really had time to make a few phone calls into the hospital to check on Elliott. He failed his car seat test again today, which is frustrating. He has trouble keeping his vitals where they need to be during the test. He seems to be doing well with his feedings though, and they say his bowels are still sounding good, even though he is still having trouble pooping. They were giving him another suppository tonight. Jen will most likely be going alone to visit him tonight, as I stay to watch Aaron. She will be taking one of our new car seats with her to have them try the test on him again...either later tonight or tommorrow. Even though it's all a bit overwhelming still, we are both sure it would be more so to have them both home at once. This is about as good as a transition as we could hope for.

Plus, I can't complain. I just typed that last paragraph one-handed with Aaron sleeping snuggly in my left arm. :)

mixed feelings

As you can see Santa did come to see the boys today. It was super fun. Aaron just kind of slept the whole time...I think he liked Santa's beard. Elliot was awake and very hungry. They didn't like getting into their elf outfits but didn't really mind them once they were back in their beds and sleeping...waiting on Santa to get there. Next year is going to be SO MUCH FUN!!!
Both boys are doing great. Elliott's belly is fine, but he needs to poop. Aaron pooped twice for sure today and I am pretty sure he had pooped again tonight but I didn't want to wake him up to change him so close to a feeding time. If the babies are awake and worn out before they are fed then they don't eat as well because they are too tired. Anyway...during rounds today Dr. Hocker said that they were doing great and that Aaron will probably come home TOMORROW!!! Elliott still had to pass his car seat test...which he failed again. He is just not ready to come home. His pulse ox can't go below 88 and it did within 15 minutes. It has something to do when them laying flat. So I kind of freaked out because I guess I didn't really think that they would ever let me take them home so we are not ready. We didn't have any diapers and I just felt we needed a nurse with us too!!! They have been out of my belly for 3 weeks and I haven't had to do anything for them. I feed and diaper them as much as possible but I am not with them 24 hours a day!!! I am nervous to have Aaron home and I really hate leaving Elliott. Now they will be apart yet again and Elliott is left at the hospital without his little bother. I know that he won't even know but it still makes me sad. I wanted them to come home together so bad and it looked like they would. I am happy in a way because this means that Elliott will have longer to be watched super closely so they know he doesn't have NEC. I am still feeling positive that Elliott will be home by Christmas. Andrew and I still have to take a CPR class, learn about the monitors, and watch them give one of the babies a bath. Oh...the car bed has to get in the car and I think we have to show that we can buckle Aaron in or something. It seems like a lot to pack in tomorrow...when Andrew is working, but we will figure it out. I just might be holding a baby when I am typing tomorrow. Oh...this is just for Jillian...I will email you back soon!!! Just need to find time =)
xoxo
Jen

gas

So....today was a little scary. I didn't mention this yesterday but it is important now. Aaron and Elliott are in a room that can only have 3 babies. When they were first moved to the first floor their roommate was Diego. Yesterday Diego was fine during rounds just before 2pm. I fed and diapered Elliott and Aaron and everything was fine until about 2:30. Diego started crying and was just very upset. The nurse made a phone call and then sat down. She wasn't as cheerful and she was a few minutes before. I heard her say something about Diego's tummy being hard. That is bad. There is a break from 3-3:45 and at that time parents have to leave the NICU. When I came back at 4pm, Diego had been moved back to the 4th floor. The nurse told me that he was very sick. She said that much of his intestines had died and he would be undergoing surgery to remove the dead parts. This really freaked me out because it happened so fast!!! Preemies tummies are not ready to eat so they have troubles like this sometimes. Its called NEC, I can't remember what that stands for but it's some kind of bacteria that kills the intestines. This is why it take a while for the babies to start being fed and then they are moved to more food slowly. So...this morning we received a phone call from St. Francis. It was the attending doctor. He told me that Elliott threw up his entire 5:30AM feeding so they next two feeding were going to be held. He said that Elliott had an x-ray done on his tummy and his "loops" were dilated but it was gas. I hung up the phone and told Andrew and then I started to freak out. I called back and talked to the nurse. She said that they were just holding his feedings to give his tummy a rest. She said that he had been fussier then usual in the morning but he wasn't being moved or given an IV or anything like that. It was just as a precaution. I felt a little better but was still pretty worried considering how fast things progressed with Diego. When we got to the hospital Elliott was sucking on his "yumyum" (this is what we are calling binkys because Katie told us to =) so hard I thought he was going to suck the whole thing down in throat!!! He was very hungry. The nurse said that he had been passing gas. She called someone who said that he could eat. I gave him his bottle around noon. He took it so fast...he was so very hungry. He took two more feedings from me as well and things seemed back to normal. Later I heard that Diego had died last night. When they opened him up all of his intestines had died. They closed him up and told his parents there was nothing they could do. I thought that was very sad but knew Elliott was doing better and he just needed to fart a lot. Elliott was given an enema and he pooped. that should have helped as well. I fed Elliott at 8:30 and he was just not that interested in eating. He was squirmy and irritable. I started getting nervous...thinking about little Diego. Elliott's temp was also low. His bottle had 35mL in it and he needed to take 32. He only took 26. He ALWAYS takes all of it. The nurse said she was sure he was fine and it looked like he was trying hard to poop. She checked him over and again thought he was fine. He kept arching his back when I was holding him and acted like it hurt him when I bent him over to burp him. I texted Andrew and told him I was really scared but probably over reacting. I ended up holding Elliott for a long time. He farted a lot and it seemed to make him feel better. Andrew came to the hospital and picked me up and we went home. I still feel very uneasy about all this. We just called the hospital and Elliott took 30 of his 11:30 feeding. His nurse said his bowel sounds were good and it looked like he was still working to get lots of poop out. Aaron is doing super. Actually Aaron has some minor issues. He has a mild form of hypospadia and hydrocele. He has to see the urologist in February. Both boys are to see the eye doctor the Friday after Christmas. Just keep praying for the boys. They are growing but they are still so small...I can't help the guilt feelings that I have for not keeping them in long enough. Also, they would be able to digest breast milk better than formula. I feel guilty for not being able to make enough milk...now that I am way super freaked out...I can't even make enough in a day for one feeding for one baby. It's okay to pray for my boobs too =) Thanks so much for reading and praying!!! Sorry that there aren't any new pictures on snapfish today. We will have lots tomorrow probably..Santa is coming and the babies will look like elves!!!
Jen

No more feeding tubes!!!

Well...you have read it correctly. Elliott and Aaron are feeding tube free!!! They started taking all their feedings from bottles today and have done AWESOME!!! What amazing babies we have =) Aaron passed his carseat test but hated being in the carbed. Elliott also hated being in the carbed and did not pass. The nurse thinks he just made himself too upset...then he puked. I think he just wanted to let Aaron be first at something...what a great big brother!!! Both boys are gaining weights. Elliott is at 1790 grams. That is in between 3lbs 15oz and 4lbs. Aaron is 1660 grams. That is 3lbs 10oz and 3lbs 11oz. I bought carseats today that were recommended by the hospital. They will be a Christmas present from grandma Schwiderski. They can actually be in the carseats instead of carbeds if they can both make it to 4lbs. I think the hospital still wants us to use carbeds. Both boys also received their first RSV shot thing. I found out that our insurance will cover the shots one way or another...apparently they are very expensive. I also may have the proper identification (other then certified copies of their birth certificates) to apply for social security numbers for the boys.

I went to the OB today for a follow up visit. Nothing really happened but I ran into Dr. Boyd (he delivered the babies but I saw Dana the midwife before the preeclampsia crap) on the way out and the nurse person told him about my milk issues and he wrote a prescription for Reglan and told me to take more Fenugreek. The boys Dr...Dr. Hocker, told me I can try to get them to latch on once a day and encouraged me to kangaroo them. YAY for kangaroo!!! All of the prayers for healthy boys seem to have been answered. Stuff could still happen but I am thinking that since there are people praying for our boys all over the country...well at least the Midwest, Pennsylvania, Florida, and Kansas...they will be home before we are ready. Thats a lot of people and a lot of places for two little guys!!! Thanks so much for reading and caring about our babies. I can't wait until they can meet every one of you =)

ps
Julie...let me know about my typos!!! I don't proofread and am usually doing other things while I am typing...not always paying attention to what I am writing.

coming home soon?!?!? Elliott and Aaron are 3 weeks old!!!

Well...I don't want to get anyones hopes up, but the word is that the boys will be able to come home by the weekend!!! Andrew and I had to watch three videos tonight that are required to be seen before the boys come home. One was about shaken baby syndrome, one about RSV, and that last about car seat safety. I am even more afraid about the babies getting RSV then I was before. The nurse told us that our babies are at high risk because of their age and also because they will be sleeping together. The doctor will want them to get a monthly shot that will help keep them safe from RSV. We were told that we shouldn't give them kisses...not even on their hands!!! I think I am going to have to kiss them =) Tomorrow night we get to watch a nurse give one of the boys a bath and then we will both have to show the nurse sometime this week that we can give them baths. Also, they boys should have their carseat tests in the next two days or so. They will go home carbeds because they will weigh less than 5lbs...it will be a pain to take them anywhere. I guess maybe they make them that way so you don't take your preemies out when they shouldn't be out. Tomorrow both boys will be taking all of their feedings from bottles and as long as they do well with that, they will no longer have feeding tubes on Wednesday!!! Just in time for pictures with Santa. My mom is making elf costumes for them to wear with Santa. I am sooo excited for that!!! They will even have little pointy hats and shoes!!! They are doing so well with eating and burping!!! They can burp louder then I can =) Andrew and I both changed a poopy Elliott and Aaron pooped today too...only once, but still pooped...yay Aaron and Elliott!!! They both gained weight too. I didn't write it down so I don't know how much but I will make sure to let you know tomorrow. Have a super day...or night...
xoxo
Jen

all good news

All good news today!!! The boys are doing great. Santa is coming to the NICU on Wednesday.... and the boys probably won't have feeding tubes by Wednesday!!! WooHoo!!! Elliott managed to maintain his temperature all day in an open crib (kind of like the tupperware Cassidy was in = ) and Aaron was put in an open crib tonight around 9pm. I am still not making much milk but I don't even care. Well..probably I do, but not today. I am way WAY too happy about Elliott and Aaron's progress. Julie and Annie were able to feed Elliott a little bit and both also held Aaron. My mom was able to hold Elliott as well. Aaron gained weight and Elliott stayed the same. Elliott weighs 3lbs 11oz, Aaron weighs 3lbs 7oz. They are getting so big...almost look like regular babies now!!! I can't believe how much more I love them everyday.

xoxo
Jen

movin' down...but it's a good thing

Well...things get better everyday!!! Yesterday the boys were back together. Today they were moved to the first floor!!! It's still the NICU but one nurse told me that they move "the best babies" down to the first floor. I always knew I had the best babies!!! They will have the same nurses and the same rules apply but it seems they are just one step closer to coming home. I was surprised to see that Elliott is now in an open crib...keeping his temperature. Both took all of their bottle feedings today and had minimal puke. Aaron finished his bottle in less than 10 minutes tonight when I fed him and didn't puke at all. The little sweetie fell asleep on my shoulder when he was finished. Andrew didn't make it to the hospital in time to feed Elliott but he was fed by his favorite nurse, Roxie. Sadly tonight is Roxie's last night. She is a traveling nurse and after spending a couple weeks with her family in Kentucky, she is going to Hawaii for a few months. She told me that Elliott was awake for 3 hours last night and was just loving to be held. She said that every time she put him down he threw a fit, but calmed down after she wrapped him up in a blanket. I am just happy by babies are being held when we are not there. Aaron pooped so much today he lost a few grams!!! They are going to work on getting him into an open crib. They are both really growing. They look less and less fragile every day. I am so proud to be their mommy. I don't really feel like a mommy, but I know I will when they get home. There are only three babies in the room they are in now. It's quieter and bigger. They are still next to each other but further apart. I am hoping that their cords are long enough that we can still put them together sometimes. Make sure you check out the new pictures today. They are cute. I think that I have rambled on long enough in this super long paragraph. I am sorry that this is a terrible paragraph...I just didn't want to split things up tonight.
xoxo
Jen

finally together

Well...just when I thought I couldn't take it anymore, God make things better. I talked to two lactation consultants today and they made me cry. I can deal with this situation most of the time until someone asks if I am okay. Just know that I am not and don't ask. I thought that probably I was having a difficult time pumping because I am not with my babies and feel terrible about. Everything was always great with my pregnancy. The babies were always great...I never really felt bad...my feet just hurt. Then I go in for a regular ultrasound and I am admitted in the hospital. 5 days later I am transferred to St. Francis, and the next day my babies are cut out of me and I don't even feel sick!!! The babies are rushed to the NICU and I don't even get to see them for 2 days. It's a pretty crappy thing. I know that other people have it worse and I AM thankful that our babies are doing so well. I know that they could have been born even earlier...the thing is...this is my life and I don't like what has happened and I think its okay for me to fell sad about how things have turned out. I think I have said it before, some days are better than others. Today was not that great but it did end well. I don't feel like the lactation consultants helped me much other then to help me feel like I should feel more empowered to be an advocate for Elliott and Aaron. I will keep pumping and doing the best I can to give the boys the most I can.

So...I went into the NICU tonight and it looked like other parents were holding Aaron!!! Then I realized that it wasn't Aaron and he must have been moved. Well...he was moved...right next to Elliott!!! It finally happened. Andrew and I were able to sit next to each other, each holding and feeding a baby. It was super...plus the great night nurses put them in matching outfits...complete with hats and booties!!! I love Rebecca and Roxie!!! Aaron is up to 3lbs 5oz, Elliott is 3lbs 9oz. Both boys are getting 4 bottle feedings a day and Elliott is taking 30mL of milk while Aaron is still at 27mL. Elliott's isolette was set at 29.?? and Aaron's was at 30.??. They are very close to the same so I am really hoping and praying that they will be able to go home the same day. Andrew fed Aaron tonight. He took all but 4mLof his bottle. Elliott took all but 2mL. Elliott didn't regurge at all and Aaron just spit up what a normal baby would spit up. They are making steady progress which is so very good. It's just hard not to be a little negative...just to prepare myself if they do slide back a little. This kind of thing happens often in the NICU, and I don't want to be super sad and disappointed. Oh...both boys have had head sonos and both are fine. Elliott either has a benign tumor or extra perivascular space...both are fine and he will grow out of them. Aaron passed a hearing test and Elliott's hearing test is tonight. Having a deaf baby is by far the least of my concerns!!! Well..that's all the news I have. Thanks for reading!!!
Jen

love those babies!!!

Not much news...everything is pretty much the same. Andrew fed Elliott tonight while I fed Aaron. Both had great nurses and they let us hold them for a while after they were finished with their 27mL bottles. Aaron didn't puke at all and Andrew said that Elliott just puked a little. Nothing to worry about..normal baby stuff I think. I don't know if I mentioned that Aaron lost his belly button thing yesterday. It was there and the nurse said it was hanging on by a thread. An hour later I looked and it was gone. I am sad that I didn't get to keep it or really have that experience with him, but lots of other stuff will happen that Andrew and I will be a part of. Both boys took all of their other bottles as well. Aaron will be fed another one over night but I think Elliott had all three of his. Ummmmm....I guess that is it. We love them so much!!! Make sure you look at the new pictures. The nurses last night, Rebecca and Roxie, were able to get the boys together. Roxie said they had so much fun with the boys. They dressed them alike in little Christmas outfits and posed them together. It was the first time they were together since they were born. Wish we could have been there for that too. No need to dwell. We get to be with them for years to come = )

Jen

so sleepy

I couldn't do a blog last night...just too tired!!! I didn't get to the hospital until after 5pm. It's just hard to get ready when pumping has to happen every other hour or more. It's also not healthy to be at the hospital all day =) I really appreciate all the positive and uplifting comments. You don't know what it means to me to hear that I am not a failure for not being able to keep my babies cooking longer and for having such a hard time pumping. Sometimes all this crap...all of this stuff that wasn't planned...having to ask stranger if I can hold my babies....sometimes it all gets to me and I don't think I can do it anymore. Then some super great person reminds me that I can do it, that I am stronger then I think I am. I have been able to ask more questions and not stop until I understand the answers. I am more comfortable with my babies and more comfortable with their nurses. I know that I am not going to break them and the nurses are so helpful and supportive...not all the nurses but most of them. well....on with the update =)

Elliott
Elliott didn't have any new orders after rounds with the doctor today. He took his entire bottle last night and this morning. His nurse told me that he regurged last night after he ate but she thought it was because he was working so hard to poop...then he had massive poop in his diaper. At least we know that part of him is working well!!! I fed him last night and he took that entire bottle too. His nurse said that he will probably be moved to three bottle feedings a day now and that since he is almost 3lbs 8oz (he weighs 1580 grams and 1588 grams is 3lbs 8oz), he will probably also be getting more at each feeding. He hasn't had any brady cardia episodes in a couple days and is also doing well keeping his temperature. His issolette was set at 29.1 (I think) and when he can keep his temperature when his isolette is at 28 then he can be put in an open crib. I think it's 28...I am not good at remembering numbers. He looked super good and his nurse (I think her name is Roxie...awesome) let me hold him for a long time. He was so cozy sleeping on his mommy!!! So...once he is in an open crib and can keep his temp then all he has to do is continue to eat and gain weight and not stop breathing and keep his heart beating. The boys eat every three hours so they eat 8 times a days. They have to complete all 8 of their feedings from a bottle before they can go home. I don't think either baby will make it for Christmas but maybe before January.

Aaron
Aaron also finished his entire bottle in the morning and at night and he is now taking 27mL at each feeding. He didn't have trouble with any reflux stuff. He should be moving to 3 bottles a day as well. As of yesterday he weighed 1440 grams...that is almost 3lbs 3 oz...1446 grams is 3lbs 3oz. I haven't been to the hospital yet today and I haven't called because I want to talk to the nurses after rounds and they probably haven't finished rounds in Elliott's room yet. I am sure that both boys are doing awesome. Aaron had this super great nurse last night, Rebecca. I like her lots. She was feeding a different baby. I asked her if I could take Aaron out to hold him and she said that was fine. I wrapped him up in a blanket and held my little sweetie. I tried to put his hat on but I dropped it on the floor so Rebecca brought a different hat...it was a snowman...so cute. We have pictures that I will put on Snapfish probably tonight. We left the camera at the hospital because Rebecca and Roxie were going to try to get the boys together for a picture. Roxie had Elliott night before last too and said that she took him to see Aaron...Aaron was sleeping but she put Elliott's face up to Aaron's and told him it was his brother. They have been trying to move them into the same room for like a week but it hasn't happened yet. Roxie said that they tried to move Elliott in with Aaron and she was sad because Elliott is her best baby. It ended up not happening. Maybe they were able to move them last night...who knows. I think that both boys are super and the nurses in each of their rooms don't want to give them up!!!

If you don't have the snapfish album and you would like to see pictures of the boys, give me your email address and I will send you the album. I didn't want everyone to have it at first because the early pictures of the boys are so scary. They look so fragile and their skin looks like it hurts. They look better everyday!!! Thanks for reading a praying and being so super supportive!!!
Jen

Magic Blog!

Andrew here. So....Jen is convinced that this is a magic blog. If you have been reading, you'll note that some of the days have been a little hard lately. The boys were spitting up a good amount of their feedings and Aaron was crying alot. And Jen felt pretty helpless, especially with keeping them clean and away from "pukey" bedding.

Well, after freaking out about it in general, she took the morning and afternoon off, away from the hospital. And then, when we went in tonight, they had nothing but good news for us. Their feedings went well this afternoon.

And I was just in time to do Aaron's feeding. He was crying when I got there, and I was surpised to be able to calm him down within seconds by just showing him some attention. Then, with the feeding, he took over half of what I was given to feed him. And the rest of it went down easily through the help of his feeding tube. I have to admit, I was more proud of myself that he took the bottle from me, than of him for keeping it down, because last time I wasn't as successful. Afterward, I just held him for what seemed like 5 minutes, but was probably closer to 35, because it flew by, just feeling needed by one of our little guys.

So back to the magic blog.... Both boys took all their feedings without spitting up much and Jen noticed that they looked clean and happy to not be laying their faces in any puke. So she feels like yesterday's stressfulness that was described in the blog, made things magically fix themselves today.

But I think we both know, that it's less "magic" and more of God just showing us that He takes all of our cares away. Whenever we feel like it's more than we can handle, one little pressure point melts away, and we realize that "He will never give us more than we can bear." (can't find the exact verse right now, but I know that's in the Bible.) Thanks for your continued prayers!

Jen here...just wanted to make a little note that Elliott's PICC line was removed this morning so now both boys just have the stickers on them so their heart rates and respirations can be monitored. Just to understand the feedings a little more...they have to take at least half of their feeding with a bottle for two days before they add another bottle feeding. Right now both boys have two bottle (the NICU nurses say "nipple feedings") a day. Before they can leave the hospital they have to be able to take all their feedings from a bottle (or me if the doctor says it's ok). They also have to continue to gain weight, keep their temperature in an open crib, and sit in their car seats for an hour without needing help from a nurse to breath or keep their hearts beating. There is still a lot to do but considering they are having to do this stuff 2 months before they were supposed to I think they are doing very well!!! WOO HOO=)

puke...and the babies are 2 weeks old

I didn't get to the hospital until 5pm. When I called earlier in the day both boys were doing well. Aaron's nurse was going to save Aaron's second nipple feeding for me and Elliott did well with his first nipple feeding. His nurse told me that he was only nipple feeding twice a day. Anyway.....

Elliott
His nurse tonight told us that he took more then half of his nipple feeding and that she would feed him again at 11:30 because he had been so awake and alert yesterday at that time. Everything else was the same. I was concerned earlier in the night because when I was hanging out with him I noticed that the burp rag he head was on had spit up on it so he was laying in it and smelling it. I don't like the nurse that was with him before 7pm. I don't think it's that hard to check for things like that and make sure that the babies are not laying in puke or have yuck on their faces. It makes me wonder about the care they are getting from certain nurses. It's almost like crappy CNA's (not my awesome sister!!!) in nursing homes or people that work with the DD population. I just think that if you don't really care about the babies then don't work with them. I would gladly take care of all that stuff if they would let me.

Aaron
I came in and told Aaron's nurse that I would like to Kangaroo him but it was time for him to eat so she was going to let me hold him while being fed through his feeding tube. He was wide awake and so cute. He looked like a regular baby...kicking his feet and moving his arms around. I just wanted to pick him up and take him home. He second nipple feeding was to be at 8:30pm. So I was holding him and he was happy. Then he started to get fussy and I couldn't do anything because I was holding him in my left arm and my right hand was holding his feeding. I was able to calm him down a couple times but I think his tummy hurt. He spit up a few ml of his feeding. He had it all over because I was not given a burp rag and could use my other hand anyway. His nurse took him and put him back in his bed. I was going to put different clothes on him but she advised me to allow him to calm down a bit and let his tummy settle a little. He started to cry so hard. It was terrible. I couldn't pick him up to console him. I had to put my arms through the portholes and let him know I was there...he didn't want to be touched and I didn't know what to do. It sucked. Then his nurse told me that another nurse was going to retape his PICC line because the tape was getting loose. She put clothes on him and that calmed him down for a couple seconds...then he started to cry again. I couldn't take it anymore so I left to see Elliott. That was when I noticed that Elliott was sleeping in puke...I wanted to leave the hospital so bad but Annie had dropped me off so I didn't have to scrape the ice off my car so I had to wait until Andrew got off work. I went to the mother's room and pumped (I think that Aaron crying helped my milk production...). Andrew came to the hospital and made me feel better. He nipple fed Aaron at 8:30. I had to pump again..then went to say goodbye to both boys. I was happy to see that Elliott had an awesome nurse. Aaron's nurse told me that he spit up again and this time it was half of his feeding. She also informed me that his PICC line had clotted so it had to be taken out. He only had it in case he needed antibiotics or IV nutrition again. His nurse thought that it would not be put back in unless he needed it. I don't think he will need the IV nutrition unless he starts to lose weight or stops gaining it. He is currently 3lbs almost 1 ounce. Elliott is 3lbs almost 5 ounces.

Andrew just told me that I need to make a separate blog for me feeling and keep this one just Elliott and Aaron updates...maybe I should.

Jen

kangarooing is the BEST!!!

I can't think of anything clever to write so I'll just give a baby update and not be clever...

Elliott
I don't know if I mentioned that Elliott (at his last weight check) weighs 3.3 pounds now!!! What a little fatty = ) I found out that he is up to three nipple feedings a day. I guess that sometimes we need to know the questions to ask because they don't tell us everything that happens. At his feeding this morning he took 12ml. I think his bottle had 25ml in it...maybe more. He was puking often today but I think it was because he was being fed formula. I am providing them breast milk but am having a hard time making enough for these guys...I'm a little worried. I asked a nurse why they were being fed formula even after I had given them lots of ml of breast milk today and she explained that they mix fortifier in the milk and have to have a certain amount of milk to mix the fortifier in. I am guessing that the nurses don't do the mixing but I am not sure and feel too tired to find out. I know that they are getting breast milk when ever it is available. Hopefully I will start making more then they can consume and then they won't have so much indigestion. On a happy note, I finally asked to kangaroo Elliott. His nurse seemed annoyed and asked if I just wanted to hold him and I was assertive and told her I wanted to kangaroo. It was then best!!! I haven't felt that close to either baby since then were inside. I can't wait to kangaroo Aaron tomorrow and maybe Elliott too!!! Elliott just slept on me. It was the sweetest thing ever...I just can't wait to get them home!!! Elliott, later, peed on me.

Aaron
Aaron as of today weighs 3 pounds. He will probably be nipple feeding twice a day starting tomorrow. I fed him today with a bottle and he took half I think but I usually don't know how much they start with. He will be eating 27ml. His nurse said he will stay at 27ml. He will still gain weight and grow, he just won't be getting more for awhile. Aaron was also pretty pukey today but, again, I think it's because his belly digests milk better than formula. I am hoping they will be back to milk tomorrow. There is nothing else new with Aaron...I guess I could mention that he peed on his nurse today. Oh...I saw the mean nurse in his room and started to freak out but she isn't his nurse...YAY!!! I am sure he will sleep better knowing he doesn't have the mean nurse. Both boys are pooping a lot....YAY!!! I feel kind of bad because Elliott's paragraph is longer than Aaron's...I did explain some stuff in Elliott's and I didn't get to kangaroo Aaron...tomorrow I hope!!!

off to bed....

what?

well...I wrote a blog last night...I know I did...but where did it go? I just found it and posted it...

Today I was tired and wanted to go home to sleep but with having to pump every two hours...how much sleep can I actually get? SOOOOO TIRED!!!

Elliott took all his milk from a bottle this morning at 8:30. I am so happy that he is doing well with nipple feeding. He also is at about 3 pounds 3 ounces!!! He was really squirmy today. His nurse told me that after the break at 3 he had turned himself sideways in the isolette. I think he was trying to escape. When I came to see him after eating dinner and pumping and talking to a bunch of moms, he was starting to move but got stuck with his head against one of the portholes. He is so funny. He already knows what he wants.

Aaron took most of his nipple feeding. I had to stop because of the shift change. I think he could have taken it all. He didn't puke it up either. He pooped twice last night and once this morning. I think it helped him!!! He will also start taking caffeine orally instead of thought his IV. Aaron is also gaining weight. He is not as big as his brother but he is working to gain weight and learn what he needs to learn to go home. I am a little worried because I saw the mean nurse before I left at 7 and don't know if she is Aaron's nurse tonight. Andrew and I didn't see her when we were there so hopefully she is with a baby she likes.

I have to go to sleep...I don't know if I am making any sense...is sense spelled right? I think its right...good night
Jen

no more IV nutrition!!!

This is probably going to be short because I am sooo very tired. I got to the hospital at 9am and checked in on the boys before they got to meet great aunt Jean and great aunt Sandy. When I checked in on them, Aaron was sleeping and Elliott was holding on tight to a syringe. Andrew says Elliott needs a teddy bear to cuddle with =) I was able to diaper, take temp, and nipple feed Elliott at 2:30. His temp was 98.6 and he peed when I changed him...only this time I was smarter!!! He peed only in his diaper. Also, when I was changing him, he lost his umbilical cord stub. I kept it...it's kind of gross and really tiny!!! I learned right after he was fed that there was an order to discharge his IV nutrition. He is taking enough milk that he doesn't need the extra calories on the IV nutrition. When Andrew came to the hospital to pick me up, Elliott was wide awake and so cute. He is always awake at night...I guess that might suck for us later...It's also kind of funny that if Elliott is placed in his bed looking in a direction he doesn't like, the little stinker figures out how to turn his tiny head.

Aaron was so sleepy today and a little cranky. I was able to nipple feed him (meaning that he fed from a bottle) at 5:30. I had a difficult time getting him take any of it so his nurse showed me some stuff to try. She was able to get him to take close to the whole bottle (15 CC's). Then he threw all of it up. It was pretty sad to see since he worked so hard to suck, swallow, and breathe...also that I worked so hard to make that milk for him!!! I am thinking that maybe he needs to poop. Aaron was also taken off his IV nutrition. He is gaining weight and is now sooo close to 3 pounds. Elliott is still weighs more then Aaron but Aaron seems to be working hard to be big like is brother. I was able to hold Aaron for a long time as he finished eating from the tube. He started to get fussy so I sang to him and he stopped.

so much pee!!!

Not much change in the boys today. Elliott and Aaron both have continued with their feeding schedules. They get one more CC in each feeding. Aaron is getting more fluid and something else that has lots of calories to help him gain weight quicker. Elliott is gaining weight on his own...what a chunker..he is over 3 pounds now!!!

I (Jen) was able to bottle feed both boys today and do the take the temperature/change the diaper routine. Elliott was perfect...he was pretty still when I was changing him and didn't freak out when I was taking his temp. He gets all mad sometimes to have a thermometer in his arm pit. Aaron was on the other end of the spectrum. He was so wiggly and fussy when I took his temp and kept scrunching his legs up when I was trying to change his diaper. I was working soooo hard to change his diaper, (I don't know how many of you have had to change a diaper on a teeny baby through the portholes in an isolette keeping in mind that it's important not to tangle the wires too bad, but it's not that easy) I had one hand on his tummy and the other was moving some wires out of the way. Then I thought I felt wet on my hand and instead of keeping his "peepee" covered, I lifted the diaper and he peed everywhere!!! I managed to get pee on the ceiling of his isolette!!! At the same time he spit up....He is trying to prepare me for bringing him home I guess!!! I am sooo ready for my boys to come home...I know that it wouldn't be good for them to be home now but I really wish they were home with us...I really wish we had our own home to bring them home too!!! All in good time right?

xoxo
Jen

The mean nurse

Today was Andrew's first day back to work since I was moved to St. Francis on Saturday, November 24th. I didn't like that he had to leave and started to wonder....how bad could it be living on welfare...just kidding

Elliott drank 11 cc's from a bottle today....then I think he spit it all up later...but at least he is figuring out some hard stuff...how to suck, swallow, and breath all at the same time!!! He is continuing to gain weight. Tonight he was wide awake and was really looking like a "regular" baby. He was super squirmy and was working very hard to pull out his feeding tube. Yesterday was the first day that I heard him making baby noises...not crying but the little baby noises, so sweet. When I was feeding him today he was very awake and looking at me. I think he knows I am his mom even though the nurses are with him more.

Aaron no longer has his pulse ox monitor....this happened yesterday. He was also given his PICC line over night on December 2nd and 3rd. While I was feeding Elliott, Aaron's nurse gave him a bath. I was with Elliott when I heard a baby crying in the other room. I said to my sister Carrie "I hope that's not my baby" and then it turns out that it was. He didn't like his bath much but he was calm and oh so sweet when we saw him. He was wide awake for a few minutes and then he started to fall asleep. Taking a bath can really take a lot out of a guy!!! Aaron is also gaining weight and was able to maintain his body temperature even with both of his isolette doors were open.

Both babies are still have some difficulty digesting. They seem to be having a contest over who can puke the most. I think that Aaron is winning at this point. I was able to hold Aaron for the first time today. His nurse was mean and was blaming him for puking...like he can help it...we don't like her. While I was holding Aaron, he looked all around and then looked at me. We talked about how mean the nurse was and how I could smuggle him out. We decided that since I didn't have a car, car seats, or a winter suit for him he should stay in the hospital. OH..I was changing Aaron's diaper and got peed on for the first time by one of my own babies!!! Elliott peed all over himself when the nurse changed his diaper at the same time.

That's all for tonight. I am so tired and really need to go to bed. xoxoxoxo Jen

Gainin' weight!

Andrew here...Now that Jen has had these babies, she's the only one that isn't gainin' weight. She's losing it daily with eating all that high fiber food and from drinking what seems like 10-15 full bottles of water a day. My boys and I, on the other hand, are still going strong. Elliott and Aaron stopped shedding weight and are keeping down more and more of their feedings, so they are back up to their birth weights already (It's common for babies to lose several ounces following the birth). I, however, will never see my birth weight again (thank goodness). And I am doing a lot of snacking and laying around with Jen as she recuperates. It's not my fault though. Have you been to McDonald's lately? If you just want a single-patty cheeseburger, because you like the taste and proportion of the bread to the meat, it's $0.99 cents... But if you look at the value menu, you will see that a double cheeseburger is just $1.00! You have to stop and think....Who am I to turn down a second patty for only a penny more? Now, I know that ordering this burger with its extra patty is probably not sticking it to the "McDonald's Man" by very much, but I can't help but order the Double, because getting an extra patty for a penny is unheard of...and let's not even talk about the extra piece of cheese.


Wow, that was a tangent.

As far as the rest of the news, both boys are eating well and Jen was able to give Elliott a small amount of milk from a bottle today. He even held his temperature outside of the incubator for 20 minutes while she held him and fed him, so they say that we should be able to do something called Kangaroo care with at least him as early as tomorrow. That's where either Jen or myself would hold him skin-to-skin against one of our chests for optimal warmth and comfort.

Both boys are getting rid of waste very well now, too. We were worried about Aaron, because he has needed a couple suppositories already. But he went twice on his own today. Does Jen get this detailed? :)

We are so happy and hopeful as they continue to run at the top of their class! Of course, they could still have their bad days ahead, but we feel like it may not be as unlikely to see them coming home for Christmas...and we are praying for just that!

Elliott and Aaron are 1 week old!!!

We just got back from visiting our sweet little guys. Both are doing great. Aaron took more from the bottle today and now he doesn't have his pulse-ox monitor anymore...just like his big brother. Elliott was sleeping soundly and was reported to have had a good day. I am thinking that means he wasn't feisty like he was in rooms 1 and 2. He wasn't fed with a bottle today yet...but they told us that they will do it once a day. They try to wait until the babies are really awake since it takes a lot out of them. Aaron is finally gaining some weight. He weighs 1215 grams and Elliott weighs 1250 grams. They both looked great and seem to be getting used to our touch. I finally remembered to ask about kangaroo care and we were told that we can do that any time but not close to feeding times. Kangaroo care is when you hold the baby skin to skin. It's great for preemies.

I can't believe how much I love these little guys. They are just so awesome!!! As Andrew and I look for a house to raise our boys in, I find myself looking at the neighborhood more than the price. I just want them to have the best of everything. I am a little worried that I am going to be over protective at first but you kind of have to be with preemies...especially in the winter. We have been told that it is not safe to take our boys out after they come home from the hospital. Newborns are very susceptible to illnesses like RSV. Preemies are even more at risk. They can wind up back in the hospital with RSV and that is just not something I am willing risk for a trip to Walmart or even a family gathering. We have also been told that we need to be really cautious about keeping our hands clean and making sure that people that come to visit the boys use Purell or wash their hands often. There are things we don't even think about like how dirty purse straps are or winter coats. It sounds crazy but really....is letting someone hold our babies with their coat on or with unwashed hands worth another stay in the hospital for them? We are just going to have to be extra careful for a while so I hope everyone can be understanding.

Well...I guess I am done. Thanks for reading and praying for our boys.

Jen

December Firsts

Today we had a few firsts with the boys. Changed Aaron's first poopy diaper. He was a mess. Jen had to use baby magic to get the poo off his little parts. Aaron was not happy!!! Gave both Elliott and Aaron bottles for the first time (it was also a first for them). Elliott moved over to intermediate care, where Aaron is, so it's easier to see both boys at once and that means that Elliott is doing well. Andrew held Aaron for the first time today.

Elliott continues to eat well and is digesting his food well. He no longer has a "pulse" ox monitor and also continues to breathe well without any aids. The nurses reported that he has settled down a little....hasn't been throwing his famous Elliott fits =) He is now on regular feedings instead of priming.

Aaron had several feedings held yesterday and early this morning because so much was coming back in his asperate (this may not be spelled correctly). By early morning Aaron was receiving primings again and when the doctor checked in on him he started him on regular feedings. He has not been pooping so he was given a suppository . As mentioned above...it worked!!! Hopefully he will be able to poo on his own soon.

Both boys are looking better everyday. They still have a lot of growing and learning to do but they are strong and smart. We love them soooooo much!!!

crappy night

Last night proved to be pretty tough for me. I missed the babies being in my belly and then became super sad because I couldn't see them or hold them. Andrew was super and helped us both relax and get through the night. We called the NICU and talked to both Elliott's and Aaron's nurses. Both boys were doing great. That made me feel a little better but I still was wanting to be with them. I was able to fall asleep, so happy that I was finally able to sleep next to my husband and not in a hospital bed.

Elliott was moved to room 2 today. I went to where he used to be to see him and was a little freaked out when he wasn't there!!! It's good that he was moved. His nurse told me that he is first on the list to move the room 3 or 4. Aaron is in room 3. Elliott was wearing clothes tonight and was so cute with his eyes open. Also, he is no longer under the blue lights for jaundice! He is digesting well and breathing great too. I just can't wait until he is in the same room as his brother and hopefully at some point the same crib. I think they miss each other. Elliott's nurse said that he has a temper = )

Aaron was supposed to get a pic line today but the NICU is so full they were unable to locate a warming bed so he will have to get it another day. The pic line will allow Aaron to be comfortable on his belly because it will replaced the line through his umbilical cord. I know that Elliott was happy to get on his tummy. Aaron is doing very well too. He was soooo cute tonight sleeping on his side. His nurse told me that it was time to take his temperature and change his diaper and that I could do that if I wanted.....I told her that I just couldn't wake him up. After a few minutes I went ahead and did the diaper change and took his temperature. He didn't like it very much but calmed down quickly. He opened his eyes and was looking all over the place. So curious...so sweet. He has been having problems digesting. Several of his primings were held today. Primings are feedings with breast milk (if I have supplied enough) or formula. Both boys are being primed now. It's a less amount then a regular feeding in order to prime their tummies for real feedings. Since the boys came early, their digestive tracks are not quite ready. Problems with digestion are normal for preemies. Anyway...Aaron hasn't been digesting his food so primings are held so he doesn't get sick. He receives nourishment another way. They will keep trying to feed him, making sure before each priming that he has digested. Aaron is also no longer under the blue lights for jaundice. I don't remember if I mentioned that his feeding tube is now through is nose instead of his mouth. The tubes bother the babies in their mouths because they feel it. It seems to bother Elliott more than Aaron, Elliott gags on his!!! Aaron looked great tonight and I feel confident that he will be able to digest very soon. I can't believe how much I love my little guys!!!

Andrew's mom and sister came back to visit. It's pretty awesome to have so many people that love us and our boys. Sometimes it's hard to pretend that everything is okay when it isn't but I am sure that things will get better. The boys are doing great and now all we need to do it remember that we have lives and that not everything can be about the babies. Andrew and I need to stay away from the hospital at times to keep our sanity and lean on each other for support.

Thanks for reading!!!
Jen